Reply to Is AM vs PM dishes a deal breaker?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is AM vs PM dishes a deal breaker?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think this specific thing is a deal breaker, but I don’t see how you can make a relationship work with two people who are both super rigid about doing every tiny thing their way.

Someone has to give and either leave the dishes out longer or put them away sooner.  If neither person can change on this small thing, then you are just going to be constantly fighting over everything.  
[/quote]

Agreed.  The real question is probably closer to can an uptight control freak ever be happy with anyone?[/quote]

Is the uptight control freak the one who puts dishes in the dishwasher as they happen or the one who has to let everything wait until morning?  
Both of these people sound like uptight control freaks to me.

OP, stuff like this isn’t a big deal in most marriages. 
[/quote]

Whoever would be so passionate that their way is the only correct way to the point that the dishes schedule or lack thereof could be a relationship killer is the uptight control freak.  And unless the person who wants to wait prevents the person who wants it done  right away from doing it right away, it’s obvious who is who.[/quote]

I mean, aren’t they both so passionate that their way is the only correct way to the point that the dishes schedule or lack thereof could be a relationship killer?  
I mean, the person who wants to wait is preventing the person who wants it done from having a clean kitchen. 
I can go either way with this, but I don’t really see how the person who wants it done is preventing the other person from anything at all.

I don’t know.   I wouldn’t want to be with either of these people.  
[/quote]

Because one person (the person who wants it done right away) feels entitled to MAKE the other person comply with their wishes - active - controlling.  The other person (presumably) is not trying to MAKE first person do or not do anything - passive - not controlling.[/quote]

The passive person is making their spouse either do all of the dishes always or live in a dirty space.

I don’t know.  It seems crazy to me.  Why wouldn’t you just try to do the thing that makes your spouse happy?  Even if it takes an extra two minutes?

Somehow, I don’t think that either of these people are very good in bed.

[/quote]

I think you just fundamentally misunderstand what the word “make” means in this context.  Do them right now spouse can either do the dishes right now if it bothers them, or they can accept that the dishes will be done later when do them later spouse gets to them.  Do them later spouse is not forcing either choice on do them right now spouse.  But do them right now spouse wants to force the do them right now option onto do them later spouse.  So in scenario 1 there are two options for DTRN spouse (do them yourself OR get over it) but in scenario 2 there is only ONE option for DTL spouse (do them right now AND get over it).[/quote]

No.  There is really only ONE option for both partners if they want to ever be in a decent relationship: get over it.  
 
If you can’t get over it with doing or not doing anything at a particular time and in a particular way, you are probably a crappy roommate, difficult to have children with, and likely a bad sexual partner.

Both of these people need to get over themselves.  
 [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics