Reply to Moms can totally control their kids social scenes

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Reply to "Moms can totally control their kids social scenes"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is in middle school and I’m finding she needs lots of help navigating the mean girls at her school. I didn’t get involved initially when she hung out with some of these kids until, yes, things happened at our house (which left my kid in tears) and at one particular girl’s house, all under the watchful eye of her mean girl mother. So now, I’m involved, and I do control access to my kid, and I don’t apologize for it. This kid is toxic, she causes drama everywhere she goes and the mother supports it. As she gets older and is better adept at handling bullies like her, I won’t worry as much.

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I think another spin on this is sometimes our kids just don't have the tools or judgment yet to get out of these unhealthy friendships.  I do not think it is healthy to label other kids (who will change and grow) or their parents (when really you don't know what's going on...sorry but you don't).  Speaking about it that way says more about you than the other kid and mom in the end.

Listen, observe, ask questions that get your kid thinking, and just repeat the same themes.  Friends should make you feel good.  It's normal to have disagreements but it shouldn't be most of the time.  Friends are people you should feel comfortable and relaxed around.  What are you enjoying about being friends with X.  You are an amazing person and you deserve to have friends who bring out the best in you.  There is never any problem just choosing to be alone rather than being with a friend who makes you feel bad.  And on and on.

They will figure it out themselves and they need to and should figure it out themselves without you controlling access and banning certain friends.[/quote]

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