Reply to First night of ferber, and DS screamed so hard he vomited.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1.  Not all things work for all babies
2.  [b]I forget all the ferber rules, but I dont think standing by the bed for two hours is part of it.  Unless you just mean you gave up, which I could totally get if your poor kid vomited.[/b]

We did a variation of ferber.  Basically, if my son cried - like a whiny cry, we let it go.  But if he screamed freaking bloody murder - as in I could tell he was stressed - I went in, let him know I was there, calmed him down and tried again.  My husband said I was nuts to "hear" a differnece in the cries, but at the time I was sure I could tell a difference.

Basically, you have to find out what works for your child.  Have you tried the rocking until almost asleep? I think we did this for naps.  It was like stage 1:  baby sound asleep.  Stage 2 Baby just fell asleep.  Stage 3:  baby so drowsy they can't fight sleep, and then gradully move to less drowsy, less asleep.

I promise you, you have not ruined your baby by "waiting too long."  But it may take longer.

Good luck to you![/quote]

Sounds like a horrible experience for both of you, and like your kiddo might have a real problem, but I have to agree with this PP-- what you described does not sound like Ferber. It also strikes me as strange that a child who could easily sleep well when put down fast asleep would not be able to sleep a wink without your hand on him. Was it because the intro to Ferber bothered him so much? What do you start with-- is it something like checks every 2 mins? If he was so upset after doing that that he couldn't sleep on his own at all, it does sound like Ferber might not be the right method. But what if you tried to do your checks more frequently in the beginning, and instead of patting him, actually picked him up and soothed him and then put him back down? I think that is the Sleep Lady's method. Different things work for different kids-- I agree with the PP that my daughter sleeps great on a mattress on the floor, although I do lie down beside her to put her to sleep, it takes all of 15 mins. and then she STTN-- so sometimes you just have to experiment to find what works with your kiddo, and what works for YOU. And it will change. Best wishes! As stressful as this experience is, you learned something from it and you and your baby will be just fine. Please don't beat yourself up. There are other people here to do that for you. [/quote]

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