There is a section in the Sleeping Through the Night book by Mindell that directly addresses how to handle when they get so upset they vomit. Mindell is another checkin method along the lines of Ferber but a bit gentler approach (more often check ins). People who don't like this approach can always go the gradual move-out (Brazelton and Pantley) or the Kim West Shuffle. There's always co-sleeping. It's what fits your family or not IMHO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't this make people scared that they'll choke or something? I have to admit I'm on the "are you crazy??? You let your kid cry so hard he vomited??" side of things myself. And I had two awful sleepers - the only thing that worked was co-sleeping and/or having dad put them o bed, but that's a whole other story. But I think if my kid was screaming like this and had vomited, I would be worried that he would choke on the vomit or otherwise injur himself. Never one the emotional implications...

I'm anti-CIO, and I co-sleep, but my baby has totally vomited several times in the middle of the night without waking me up (right away, until I notice disgusting-smelling liquid seeping onto me, a lovely bonus of co-sleeping-- of course, the little darling is sleeping soundly and happily with her face mashed right into it). As much as I am repelled by the whole "Don't worry if your baby vomits while screaming herself to sleep; it doesn't bother her" philosophy, it really doesn't seem to be a big deal to young kids, AND I think the whole you-can-choke-on-your-own-vomit thing is very likely except in cases of severe intoxication. Right?

*NOT* very likely, sorry!

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't this make people scared that they'll choke or something? I have to admit I'm on the "are you crazy??? You let your kid cry so hard he vomited??" side of things myself. And I had two awful sleepers - the only thing that worked was co-sleeping and/or having dad put them o bed, but that's a whole other story. But I think if my kid was screaming like this and had vomited, I would be worried that he would choke on the vomit or otherwise injur himself. Never one the emotional implications...

I'm anti-CIO, and I co-sleep, but my baby has totally vomited several times in the middle of the night without waking me up (right away, until I notice disgusting-smelling liquid seeping onto me, a lovely bonus of co-sleeping-- of course, the little darling is sleeping soundly and happily with her face mashed right into it). As much as I am repelled by the whole "Don't worry if your baby vomits while screaming herself to sleep; it doesn't bother her" philosophy, it really doesn't seem to be a big deal to young kids, AND I think the whole you-can-choke-on-your-own-vomit thing is very likely except in cases of severe intoxication. Right?

One = mind

Doesn't this make people scared that they'll choke or something? I have to admit I'm on the "are you crazy??? You let your kid cry so hard he vomited??" side of things myself. And I had two awful sleepers - the only thing that worked was co-sleeping and/or having dad put them o bed, but that's a whole other story. But I think if my kid was screaming like this and had vomited, I would be worried that he would choke on the vomit or otherwise injur himself. Never one the emotional implications...

Anonymous wrote:1. Not all things work for all babies
2. I forget all the ferber rules, but I dont think standing by the bed for two hours is part of it. Unless you just mean you gave up, which I could totally get if your poor kid vomited.

We did a variation of ferber. Basically, if my son cried - like a whiny cry, we let it go. But if he screamed freaking bloody murder - as in I could tell he was stressed - I went in, let him know I was there, calmed him down and tried again. My husband said I was nuts to "hear" a differnece in the cries, but at the time I was sure I could tell a difference.

Basically, you have to find out what works for your child. Have you tried the rocking until almost asleep? I think we did this for naps. It was like stage 1: baby sound asleep. Stage 2 Baby just fell asleep. Stage 3: baby so drowsy they can't fight sleep, and then gradully move to less drowsy, less asleep.

I promise you, you have not ruined your baby by "waiting too long." But it may take longer.

Good luck to you!

Sounds like a horrible experience for both of you, and like your kiddo might have a real problem, but I have to agree with this PP-- what you described does not sound like Ferber. It also strikes me as strange that a child who could easily sleep well when put down fast asleep would not be able to sleep a wink without your hand on him. Was it because the intro to Ferber bothered him so much? What do you start with-- is it something like checks every 2 mins? If he was so upset after doing that that he couldn't sleep on his own at all, it does sound like Ferber might not be the right method. But what if you tried to do your checks more frequently in the beginning, and instead of patting him, actually picked him up and soothed him and then put him back down? I think that is the Sleep Lady's method. Different things work for different kids-- I agree with the PP that my daughter sleeps great on a mattress on the floor, although I do lie down beside her to put her to sleep, it takes all of 15 mins. and then she STTN-- so sometimes you just have to experiment to find what works with your kiddo, and what works for YOU. And it will change. Best wishes! As stressful as this experience is, you learned something from it and you and your baby will be just fine. Please don't beat yourself up. There are other people here to do that for you.

I posted something similar to this about a year ago and got FLAMED...not one constructive response! There are a lot of good tips from PP's...Ferber did not work for us because my DS would throw up every.single.time. He had severe reflux and has a very sensitive gag.

The hard part for us was getting him to sleep...we did what a PP suggested: stand next to the crib for a few days, sit in the middle of the room for a few days, sit in the doorway for a few days, sit in the hallway for a few days...it took about 2 weeks but we were able to put him in bed and walk away without him getting violently upset. For middle of the night wake ups...well, he still wakes up but we don't go in there or do anything now (at 2.5yo). We just applied the same method...we would go in and stand next to his bed and slowly weaned to talking from the hallway("mommy is here...it's still night night time.") to not responding to him. Also, my DH did all of this...my DS responds to DH's instructions better than mine...I would go for a walk/jog while DH helped DS learn to sleep without us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like all it is is a link between an underdeveloped digestive system and crying-- my son is like this- his doctor said he just has an easy gag reflex. Always had. Doesn't mean your son is crying any harder than anyone else's-- he just pukes more easily. If mine tries to hard to poop he throws up- and he's 3 YO.

I disagree with the people who say this isn't a golden ticket. It is. And he's NOT too old. Stick with it.

.

You are absolutely insane. If you think there is any such thing as a golden ticket in parenting you have a long road ahead of you.

No, those of you who go for years with sleep-deprivation are insane. And I don't want to share the road with you.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PPs. Ferber doesn't work for every child. & it's extremely sad for the babies that are tortured by it. We did the cosleeping, lights off, quiet way of going to bed & acted like we were in a deep sleep if DS1 tried to interact with us in bed. Fwiw, DS2 & DS3 never required anything other than being put in their cribs when tired but not asleep & slept all night. Children can be very different. Good luck, you will definitely miss these days.

We did this, too, with DD1. DD2 is a great sleeper and sleeps in her crib through the night without any problems. DD1 is still in our bed most nights. She just turned 3. Interesting how different sleepers they are.

This is insane and not worth it. Seriously, stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:00 here--- and despite what the books say, teaching your child to fall asleep on his or her own is NOT a golden ticket to a good night's sleep. My child was great at going to sleep... but he still woke up every 2-3 hours until I weaned him at 13 months.

This. DS has no problems falling asleep on his own. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to be up ever 3 hours. I think I will have to wean before we get rid of that.

Yup, me too. We also "ferberized" and DS falls asleep on his own every night but still wakes up twice to nurse. He also goes to sleep on his own after nursing both times. "Night weaning" doesn't seem to be working for us.

I liked the Ferber method and it worked well for us (for bed time) but I remember reading "some babies will cry until they vomit. Calmly clean up the mess and put your child back to bed..." and I don't know that I could do that. I think another PP said this on the first page, too but what we did was when DS hit the number of minutes of crying, I would pick him up to calm him down, and then put him back down again. He would start crying again, but he didn't get quite so worked up. We did this for about 4-5 nights before he was going to sleep on his own. Good Luck OP. I know the sleep deprivation is killer, especially when you feel like you have tried EVERYTHING.

I don't have anything constructive to add, but am sending good thoughts your way as this is surely awful for you. All I can say is trust your instincts and do what you think is best for your baby and family. Our six month old who was STTN has recently started waking up 2 or 3 times. Just a week or so of this has turned me into a zombie. And our ped just told me to resist feeding him when he wakes up, which means an extra 2-3 hours of sleep deprivation for us.

Sleep deprivation is an awful thing, I have been there with the incessant rocking and constant waking and I was a total mess. Bad mommy, wasn't worth it. We did Ferber and it sucked at the time but it was still the best thing we could have done for our family.

Does your little one have a lovey? If you can introduce one that can be very comforting to them. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Cosleeping doesn't work for all babies, either. My first born was similar to yours -- played with us too much to cosleep but also vomited when really upset. What worked for us was having DH take over the sleep routine and night comforting. DD just had an easier time separating from him. He did a variation of the Sleep Lady Shuffle. I also night weaned at that time, around 10 months. After a week of him doing it, I took over again using the same method. I think DD needed a different person to help her break into a new pattern.

Ditto this.

Our DD had to be rocked totally to sleep and held for at least an hour before we could put her in the crib, and then she'd wake multiple times crying and would not go back to sleep until I rocked her all the way down and held her again. We tried cosleeping, but it actually made things worse. DD's was disturbed by our noises/movements, which required me to hold/rock her more often back to sleep, which led her to a point where I literally could not put her down during the night (even in bed right next to me) or she would wake up. I was at a point where I was getting 2-3 hours total sleep a night (and was so tired I was afraid to drive) and DD was not well-rested due to the fragmentation of her sleep.

We Feberized, and it was awful. The first night, she cried for an hour, then for the next two hours cried intermittently (cry for 15, quiet for 10, cry for 30, quiet for 10, etc.). There was progress, but it was slow (and MUCH slower than the book suggested it should be). BUT, three weeks later, DD went to bed in her crib with only a few minutes of fussing, if any. DD is much better rested and happier, and so are DH and I.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like all it is is a link between an underdeveloped digestive system and crying-- my son is like this- his doctor said he just has an easy gag reflex. Always had. Doesn't mean your son is crying any harder than anyone else's-- he just pukes more easily. If mine tries to hard to poop he throws up- and he's 3 YO.

I disagree with the people who say this isn't a golden ticket. It is. And he's NOT too old. Stick with it.

We also had a baby with a tough case of reflux who could vomit very easliy when upset. So yes, I agree that some babies vomit all the time. It doesn't have to me the crying reached a terrible level.