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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I'm in a similar situation, except the other woman is not an ex but someone he met online. There hasn't been anything physical at this point that I can gather; he says they're just friends. There has been some very inappropriate communication. How long were you in therapy? Does he love you?[/quote]

we are still in therapy, it is a good place for us to work through things, not just this. It has made us stronger, in part because we don't allow fights to take over our interaction. We know we have a place where we can hash stuff out.

He does love me.I don't doubt that, and never did. But he's not the most emotionally self-aware guy. I think he wasn't really interested in actually having an affair, he had an itch he wanted to scratch and thought he could do it and satisfy his curiosity, stroke his ego, add a little excitement to his life, with no harm done to us. I disabused him of that notion.

I also made it very, very clear that on the one hand,  I was going to fight hard for our marriage, but on the other, I wasn't going to accept disrespectful behavior and I would prefer to be alone than to be used. Furthermore, we had a lot of discussions about boundaries. His are loose, mine are not. Meeting in the middle is not acceptable in this situation. NOw, We better understand each other. He thinks I was being 'overboard,' but I would prefer that he sees me as insecure than just sitting back and letting stuff happen. Because you know what? Stuff does happen. not many people consciously start out saying "I want to have an affair and blow up my marriage' but they allow themselves to get there.[/quote]

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