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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does. 
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man![/quote]
Children don't usually go around double checking what the other responsible adult did.

When DH cleans up after dinner, he often does a cursory wipe down of the counter. I can still see water puddles and crumbs, so I have to wipe it down after him because if I tell him that he left crumbs and water puddles, I'll get the response of "it's never good enough". Yea, the whole purpose of wiping down the counter is to remove all the crumbs and water puddles, so that wasn't good.

it's great when he does laundry, but I've told him many many times that certain items need to be hung up to dry or separated because of shrinkage and bleed.  He can't be bothered. He just chucks everything out of the washer into the dryer without checking for those items that need to be hung up.  I'm not going to wash 5 items of clothing separately just because he can't be bothered to check.  He's lost a few shirts to shrinkage because he couldn't be bothered to check. Normally, I'd say that's his natural consequences, but our finances are combined, so when he ruins clothes, he has to go out and buy new ones, with our money.  I'm not going to separate our finances just because of this issue.  IMO separate finances are more of a hassle than remembering to check the items in the laundry.

So, while there may be more than one way to do something, that doesn't always equate to doing that something such that there are no negative consequences.

I'll admit that I can be an [b]exacting[/b] person. But, I have over the years learned to let some stuff go.  OTH, DH has also learned to be a bit more careful and conscientious about stuff.  He checks the laundry items more regularly now.

As we say, "I care too much; he cares too little".  So, we've had to find a happy medium.

When I was much more [b]exacting[/b] of my kids and spouse, it was because I felt like DH wasn't doing enough. So, I had to put more effort in, which stressed me out much more. He had in the past not cared enough to pay attention to certain things. So, that made me more controlling, and miserable. Believe me, I didn't want to be this controlling or this miserable myself.  But, let's face it.. most women take on most of the mental and physical load of childcare and house chores.

I don't know if OP's DW had a similar experience to mine. Maybe in the past she felt this way, and so it's hard for her to let go of it.  If she lived this way for years, it's not like if the husband starts doing more stuff all those years of bitterness will melt away quickly.

Just my 2 cents.[/quote]

Exacting is just a less disparaging way of saying controlling.  
You're controlling.

[/quote]

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