Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

I know your crazy brain thinks you made a point but you didn’t.

Now you make dinner and that night the kitchen gets wiped down and magically nobody died.

It’s okay honey, I think you should try it, only wipe the counter every other night. It’s a small start in your exposure therapy.

No. I don’t know what happened in your home growing up, but feeding your children on tables/counters that are visibly dirty is not normal. This is not me or your wife being “OCD.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

Children don't usually go around double checking what the other responsible adult did.

When DH cleans up after dinner, he often does a cursory wipe down of the counter. I can still see water puddles and crumbs, so I have to wipe it down after him because if I tell him that he left crumbs and water puddles, I'll get the response of "it's never good enough". Yea, the whole purpose of wiping down the counter is to remove all the crumbs and water puddles, so that wasn't good.

it's great when he does laundry, but I've told him many many times that certain items need to be hung up to dry or separated because of shrinkage and bleed. He can't be bothered. He just chucks everything out of the washer into the dryer without checking for those items that need to be hung up. I'm not going to wash 5 items of clothing separately just because he can't be bothered to check. He's lost a few shirts to shrinkage because he couldn't be bothered to check. Normally, I'd say that's his natural consequences, but our finances are combined, so when he ruins clothes, he has to go out and buy new ones, with our money. I'm not going to separate our finances just because of this issue. IMO separate finances are more of a hassle than remembering to check the items in the laundry.

So, while there may be more than one way to do something, that doesn't always equate to doing that something such that there are no negative consequences.

I'll admit that I can be an exacting person. But, I have over the years learned to let some stuff go. OTH, DH has also learned to be a bit more careful and conscientious about stuff. He checks the laundry items more regularly now.

As we say, "I care too much; he cares too little". So, we've had to find a happy medium.

When I was much more exacting of my kids and spouse, it was because I felt like DH wasn't doing enough. So, I had to put more effort in, which stressed me out much more. He had in the past not cared enough to pay attention to certain things. So, that made me more controlling, and miserable. Believe me, I didn't want to be this controlling or this miserable myself. But, let's face it.. most women take on most of the mental and physical load of childcare and house chores.

I don't know if OP's DW had a similar experience to mine. Maybe in the past she felt this way, and so it's hard for her to let go of it. If she lived this way for years, it's not like if the husband starts doing more stuff all those years of bitterness will melt away quickly.

Just my 2 cents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

I know your crazy brain thinks you made a point but you didn’t.

Now you make dinner and that night the kitchen gets wiped down and magically nobody died.

It’s okay honey, I think you should try it, only wipe the counter every other night. It’s a small start in your exposure therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

I know your crazy brain thinks you made a point but you didn’t.

Now you make dinner and that night the kitchen gets wiped down and magically nobody died.

It’s okay honey, I think you should try it, only wipe the counter every other night. It’s a small start in your exposure therapy.

I don’t think anyone will die, but it’s kind of gross to cook and eat on top of the spills and crumbs from the day before with the cold grease from the soaking pot in the sink where you get your water and wash your vegetables.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

I know your crazy brain thinks you made a point but you didn’t.

Now you make dinner and that night the kitchen gets wiped down and magically nobody died.

It’s okay honey, I think you should try it, only wipe the counter every other night. It’s a small start in your exposure therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

Definitely time to divorce him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

You know what, if my husband was like, “I am planning to get up extra early tomorrow morning/get home from work early tomorrow afternoon and get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up,” I would be totally fine with that.

In reality though, the next day, he leaves for work at 6:45 and doesn’t do them. The kids and I have to get ready and leave by 7:30 and we don’t do them. No one is home until 4:30 in the afternoon, and then there is soccer and ballet and piano and homework. He shows up at 6:00 expecting dinner (because he is the main breadwinner and I work part time), and the kitchen still isn’t wiped down and the dishes are still in the sink.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women are controlling... men must...

clean kitchen including wipe stove, sweep, wipe all counters, nothing soaking or they are children
put kids to bed exactly how she does
do morning routine exactly how she does.
when she goes out she comes home and immediately does a full analysis of what food was fed to the kids, homework checks, bedtime checks and they yells at husband because spelling words still need to be done (call the presses)

I can't even imagine how men deal with these women and pay all the bills and support their "hobbies". WTF... why did you ever let it get this bad.

You let her become a child and now she is acting like a child. Get a job!

Sure she will get 1/2 but you say get therapy for your anxiety or GTFO.

Come on man!

The things you are complaining about doing seem like normal things. Didn’t your parents do these things while you were growing up (Wipe counters, sweep the floor, do the dishes, go over your spelling words, put kids to bed)?

I would be annoyed too if this stuff wasn’t done. I would have planned on having an evening out with friends and then coming home, maybe have a drink, and have sex with my husband. Now I have to finish cleaning the kitchen, scrub whatever is soaking in the sink, and plan on getting my kid up early in the morning so we can go over spelling words. That kind of sucks.

Anyway, this all seems pretty normal and very different from what the OP is talking about.

Those things can wait till the next day. I learned not to be OCD, crazy control freak. Did you mom hit you with wire hangers if you used them?

No actually you don’t have to finish scrubbing leave it … live a little.

Anonymous wrote:Spelling words last about 4 years max. You either enjoy these stages as a mom and dad or you don't. Pick something you can handle with the kids each night - maybe one thing not fun and one thing fun to spread out the work - and do that well. You don't need to be super dad but you do need to be reliable.