Reply to PK3 adjustment is so hard! Is this normal? What to do??

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Reply to "PK3 adjustment is so hard! Is this normal? What to do??"

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[quote=Anonymous]   Yeah, this is well within in the realm of “normal”.  Your son’s whole waking world changed drastically, and it IS a LOT for him to take. He’s not only gained new environments, new people responsible for his well-being, new peers, and lots of new expectations— he’s lost many of the old versions of these things.  I agree with the suggestions to drop aftercare — at least for a while, if you can.  If you get that the adjustments to a whole new set of expectations and peers and authority-figures can be hard, then it’s easy to see how having to do this twice each day can just be too much for him to comfortably handle right now, especially for a finicky kid.

I agree with those who’ve said that 6 days is not very long for an adjustment like this.  I also do think that it IS a really long day for. 3 year old — especially a 3 year old who has been all / mostly at home with a nanny, in an environment that’s been customized to meet his needs, vs a school environment where the expectations are that he will adapt to a school schedule and planned group activities.

I’m unclear about the arrangements for daughter. Is the nanny share with the original nanny?  It sounds like your daughter may also be going through some significant changes as you adjust to new routines and new people as a family.

You may already be doing these things, but my suggestions include: Talking with your son to acknowledge that changes can be very hard sometimes, even when the changes are good ones. Help him list one of the “good” bits — like new friends, and interesting things to do, even as you help him to articulate the now-hard challenges.  Remind him of some challenges that were hard for him, or for other family members, that are now pleasurable. (“Remember how your little sister was afraid of the water the first time we went swimming? The pool seemed so big to her, with all that water, and now she loves it!).  Get a few books about adjusting to school that you can read together IF he’d like to.  Explore ways to make nap time easier.  Does he have a scarf he can keep for a bit that smells like you?  A small pillow or stuffed toy that smells like him/ home?  Might it help to gradually shift his nap time at home to more closely coordinate with the school schedule? Or to use a nap mat at home if he and his sister would like to?

tldr: He’s adapting to a LOT, after having a very customized life experience.  6 days is a short time to adjust to all of that, even if it might feel like a very long time to all of you. Explore ways to help him feel more comfortable with these changes; to minimize the changes for now if at all possible, and to help him see that these huge challenges also come with huge benefits— even now.   Wishing you and your family well with these transitions OP.

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