Reply to Dh has stopped pretending to care and it’s a real bummer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like he does what a lot of men do in a stressful situation: shut down emotionally.  He is trying to cope as much as you but in his own way.  I see a lot of assumptions in your post that he doesn’t care but that is not necessarily true.

Often men don’t articulate “I’m worried, I’m scared, I can’t push harder at work because I’m so stressed about what is going on at home with your health.”  When my DD was very sick DH could not articulate his feelings either but it did not mean he did not care.

For a marriage to survive you have to assume good faith, not bad faith.  You both really should have therapy and marriage counselling.[/quote]

Is he’s ASD or HFA none of the above applies. He doesn’t care and cannot care. True he’s in shutdown mode, but he usually is. [/quote]

Both of our posts are speculative but yours is making a diagnosis based on a few paragraphs of second hand information.

If OP truly feels that her husband is neurodivergent then that is her first issue to tackle.  He sounds like a typical man to me though.[/quote]

She’s busy recovering from cancer, raising her kids alone, paying the bills and maintaining the house.

She should call his mommy and daddy and he can spend a few years there with psych appts, trialing meds and deep therapy. I’m sure that’ll work at this age. [/quote]

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