Reply to DH is frequently negative and unenthusiastic

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[quote=Anonymous]What is your intent?  Are you looking for his agreement on the value, his input or you want to be able to share something you are excited about without negativity?

If you are looking for agreement on the value it can take while and you would need to be prepared to not do it if they don’t agree.  They also need to be part of the journey/conversation that got you to that point.  So for example, my DH was part of IEP hearing at the school and I sent him to a parent support group for our kids situation and he is part of all the college tours because I knew if I did all the legwork and conveyed it would be an uphill battle versus him having first hand experience and being challenged to come up with alternate solutions.

If you are looking for input even if he doesn’t agree with the premise/value, like painting the walls, understand both you and your DH know you are going to do this even though he doesn’t see the point so flip it and imagine if he was doing something that you didn’t see the point.  Your concerns would be how much will this cost, how much will I be inconvenienced and that the person got enough input to know you wouldn’t hate it/maybe even things in general that are important to you before get did it.  Like with cars, if my DH bought a new car tomorrow, my parameters are that I have to be able to drive and park the car (so it can’t be a Denali) and that it’s within our budget - I can live with the rest of the car decisions because I wouldn’t be impacted by them daily.

If you are looking to share something without negativity your best plan is to pre-empt what he will say and don’t let them rain on your parade.  I love reality tv and if my DH tries to come after me I will say “and yet people spend hours watching sports commentator that really don’t know what will happen prognosticating and or are the Monday morning quarterbacks.  This is just another form of entertainment tv like reality tv.”

In general you are always better off coming up with what you will do differently/within your control than expecting another person to change in order to be happy.

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