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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I’m really at a loss, bc I want to knee jerk and take it away for a year but I know I can’t do that. It’s so connected to her friends and that is so important to her. In the past, especially when DH hands down punishment, she takes it pretty well. She knows she screwed up, she’s sorry, she cries and we move on. This feels different. [/quote]

So I’m a believer in helping kids, especially middle schoolers, learn to navigate social media platform since they are going to need these skills as they age. Your instinct is spot on — this is how they socialize & connect with friends. More so than texts.

What we did when we found out our then seventh grader had found illicit ways of using platforms, that we weren’t ready for her to have, is we gave her a pathway of earning it. I think we did also issue a minor punishment for lying etc, but we did do while talking about our strategy for allowing moderated use in the future.

It was through a mix of school benchmarks, increased responsibilities and chores as well as sitting through several lectures and videos about being careful to avoid anyone she didn’t really know or weird, creepy people/things. We also spent a lot of time talking to her about not engaging or even being a passing observer of mean and bullying behavior.

And it came with understanding that parents would be “friends” with her on these platforms and also allowed to make unannounced checks of her account use of these platforms.

It’s not perfect. But she rose to the occasion and is learning to make good choices.

[/quote]

My kids are younger but I like this approach in theory.
I like that posters suggest getting the apps yourself to know them.

Dumb question, if kids are mostly using Snapchat to text, why not just text? [/quote]

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