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Reply to "Stuck being closest sibling to declining parent "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can contract out bill paying and hire a case manager to manage her medical stuff. Look into cost and present a choice, either hire these people using mom's money or they can take over.[/quote] This. And, while you need to take care of yourself first (just like on an airplane, they say put the oxygen mask on yourself first), also remember that[b] your 3 children are watching and learning from you and they will be making g decisions about your care one day[/b][/quote] Sorry, I call BS on this part which is an attempt to guilt-trip people into more. My dad saw his grandparents move in with the family as they aged. He wanted nothing to do with his own aging parents because they made life a living hell by making the grandparents more important than the children. My cousins watched my aunt do herself in just being there for grandma when she was in AL and then a nursing home. She was the scapegoat and hated every second. My mom, the golden child did little. Aunt had a heart attack just while dealing with the bills, mean grandma, etc. Once grandma died, the reward for autnie was a diangosis of cancer that killed her. Her kids made sure not do do much for my uncle because they saw where it leads. Teach your kids boundaries. You can love grandma and put yourself, your kids and spouse first. It's OK to hire out. Also, better to be a good ancestor than daughter. Your kids will remember how you prioritized parenting. There is a good chance your mom won't appreciate it if you burn out helping her.[/quote]
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