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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you say “to be honest . . . I find it unappealing” that sounds like you might actually be a wee bit jealous. Whether you realize it or not.

Ask yourself this:  if she was bending your ear about stuff NOT related to money that you also couldn’t really relate to, would you feel the same way?  If not, then yea it really IS the money.

[/quote]

Op here. And I really mean it when I say that talking to her makes the money seem unappealing. Like talking about the giant house they are going to buy and all the stuff that goes into it (like having a house that basically requires full time staff) sounds unappealing to me. So does a lot of the stress around the very elite privates they are applying to. Talking to her has actually made me appreciate my own life a bit more because it really does sound very stressful.

But to answer your question, yes, if she was going on and on in this same way about like a really specific-to-her work issue (while never really taking time to listen to me talk about my job) or something else non-money related, I would feel the same way. I feel like all we do now is talk about her life. Like I said, I have stuff going on in my life, too. But I feel like it gets short shrift both because she is so anxious and focused on these big changes in her life, and because I think something like me dealing with my kid's special needs or my DH and I managing some issues with my MIL's declining health, don't have the immediacy and largeness of the stuff she is currently worrying about. Basically whenever I share anything about my own life, I feel like it just becomes a jumping off point for her to launch into a monologue about her stuff, and that is the source of my resentment. Not the money.

You can believe me or not.[/quote]

Thanks for responding.  I believe you fine.  I was just trying to help you think it through.

My very best friend and I both had husbands in different firms in big law. While we never compared numbers, our husbands were probably making almost the same amount of money. When my husband made partner and her didn’t it changed everything.  Especially among the guys. Both my husband and I went to great lengths to avoid discussing anything money related with our friends - which wasn’t hard because we never talked about that kind of stuff before anyway - but the jealousy was palpable still and it permanently affected our friendship.  Honestly, I never really understood it. Just like I kind of don’t in your case. I mean, it’s not like you’re poor or anything. Apparently you’re not wanting for anything at all.  There’s a big difference between having a huge house and not having a huge house and having fancy vacations and just OK vacations and being homeless or sick or living on the streets or whatever. You know what I mean.  At its core your life situation and hers really aren’t that much different. [/quote]

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