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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My neighborhood is cliquish. It's also in an area for Fairfax County that many posters claim to be laid back, friendly and super social. I won't get specific, but it's the Mt. Vernon/Ft. Hunt general area. What I've found to be the worst is a particular group of husbands, led by one husband in particular who is just a bully. In addition, him and his wife are extremely jealous and conniving. When they decide they don't like a family, he usually sets out to exclude them from as much of the neighborhood social scene as he can, by spreading rumors about the husband. The rumors are typically along the lines of alcohol issues, domestic abuse, and neglective parenting. I've seen it happen to several families in the neighborhood and it took several years for many to realize that rumors being spread are not the truth. There has even been a family that has moved because of it. We've done our best to distance ourselves from this family without upsetting them over the past year because of this, but I have reason to believe that the husband is starting to spread rumors about my family, specifically my husband because they've gotten back to me. They're pretty awful rumors and completely false.

I've dealt with mean girls in the past, but I've truly never dealt with a male who acted this way. He's not someone that can be confronted either because he'll double down on his lies, and it'll just make things even worse. My husband confronting him is not an option because of this. Additionally, he has a small circle of followers who tend to blindly believe whatever this family says, so a confrontation will only make the situation much worse. My kids are older elementary aged, and we're coming out of the years where life revolves around the neighborhood social scene because your kids are young and that's where life is centered. We're busy with activities outside of the neighborhood and full-time jobs, but I want my family to be respected in our neighborhood and able to host and attend social events without drama as we have for years. I also don't have time to deal with this sort of targeted social engineering by someone with way too much time on their hands. So how would DCUM suggest I handle this? [/quote]

OP, they already know.

That is, the majority of the residents of that particular neighborhood already know what a wuss that guy is - there is one in each and every striver neighborhood. There are "tells" that they are proud of - who built their house/did their addition,  their annual party (usually Mardi Gras or Christmas or the like).  There are the "leaders" and the "followers".  But, what they don't know, in reality, is that no one respects them.  They only stay out of their way - that is different than actual respect. The "followers" are actually the majority, and by default the "leaders".  By definition, the majority makes the wuss think they are in charge, by fake worshipping to their face.  Behind their backs, the wuss is a side eye, smile and nod, neighborhood joke.  You don't have to worry about him, because everyone is in on the joke, except for him (and the wife, and a few hangers on). Ultimately, they do not matter - which they must know, to try to hold on for so long.

Are they locals, OP?  They seem stunted, and stuck in high school.  That often happens with limited experiences, and limited exposure to real life events and (substantial, not just bucket list) travel. [/quote]

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