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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have to travel for work. DH walked MIL to come to help while I am away. MIL lives on the opposite coast and only visits once a year, which DH pays for. DH offered to fly her out and pay all expenses while she is here for a week. She is single and retired. She said she had other commitments, but it would be so great for her to take care of DC at her house if we would put them on a plane alone.

On one had I get it, on the other hand I’m annoyed that she has made it about her. Like now I’m somehow the bad guy if I don’t want to put DC on a cross country plane alone both ways and I’m depriving her of something when the original question was if she could help me and DH (we have hardly ever asked before). She has done very little to help overall in DC’s life, just the annual visits paid for by DH.[/quote]

Be gracious and grateful for someone willing to help at all. In old age, its tough to manage kids, its tough to be away from your easy to use familiar set up and its tough to travel without lengthy planning. Your DC will get a new experience there and learn new things. [/quote]

DP, and generally weight in on the side of the DIL.

Exactly. The MIL is under no obligation to come out to you to do this, though it would be nice. It's also nice (and kind) to offer to host where she is.

OP, this is when you suck it up and pay for a year of aftercare, or how someone and pay for more time then you need to, or take off babysit with a neighbor or mom of DC's friends, or something.

This is your child. It is not her problem. She had no day in whether you had children, and you can't issue a command performance in return.

I wish it had worked out the way you wanted. It didn't. Time to get more creative.[/quote]

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