Reply to Please help, what is this condition or disorder?

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Reply to "Please help, what is this condition or disorder?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, what about a hypothetical kid who has OCD and insists that his peaches be on a separate plate from his pancakes?

Is that "poor behavior"?   Does it require "parenting" to change that behavior?
[/quote]

The problem with this example is that there are many, many kids WITHOUT OCD who insist on this as well.  It's a parents job to say no.[/quote]

This makes no sense.  if it is OCD, a parent shouldn't just say no.  As I wrote before, that doesn't stop the intrusive thoughts and just causes suffering.  If it is OCD, the parent should take the child to a medical professional for treatment.

There are a lot of kids who have no diagnosis at all, and are happy and well-adjusted and have friends and don't fixate on things and have empathy and don't perseverate and also ask to have their peaches on a separate plate from their pancakes.  Yes, you are a genius to identify that.  But it isn't what this thread about, that isn't OP's child.

Do you have a child with special needs?  How do you feel when another parent judges you because of your child's behavior?  If you don't have a child with special needs and have never been in that position, perhaps that explains your lack of empathy.  And, once again, no one is advocating that OP should tolerate this behavior.  But she isn't going to solve it without professional help and all your judging may make you feel superior but it isn't going to help.[/quote]

Yeah, I do.  In fact I have a kid with severe special needs.  And I know the difference between attributing behavior to a disability, and enabling bad behavior.  And the difference between empathy, and just plain letting a kid get away with bullshit.

There are a number of qualities to OP's post that speak to issues with parenting and behavior that are concerning regardless of whether the behavior can be attributed to a "disorder."  The fact that this child is helped by his parents to shower (towel off) at age eight.  The fact that his parents serve him food at age eight.  What is the reason for this?  It's not OCD.  It's not ADHD.  It's enabling infantile behavior.  It's enabling obnoxious behavior.  It's not a symptom of either disorder that this child is infantilized and that age-appropriate expectations for his behavior are not reinforced.

It's not doing this kid a favor, regardless of whether the "peaches on the plate" phenomenon is caused by intrusive thoughts/perseveration or just being a kid to allow this behavior to disrupt the home.  It can't go on.  It's unacceptable behavior. Those of you who say it can't be controlled -- do you accept that argument when this child has violent thoughts and perseverations?  If an adult with OCD needs to attack someone, or sexually abuse, is that your response as well?  That he simply can't control himself?  Because basically that's the argument you are making, that he simply can't be held accountable for any thought in his head.

Sorry, not true.  He is responsible for having self-control regardless of his disorder.  It may be more difficult for him but we don't allow him to go without any control or parental expectations.  What is he, a wild animal?[/quote]

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