Reply to Family camping trip is making me question all my parenting choices

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
This is very clearly anxiety, but at such a high level, and demonstrated for so long (prior to the trip) that I would request an evaluation from a developmental pediatrician, OP.

Inflexibility and anxiety are red flags for autism. Please don't be scared by that diagnosis! I have lots of high-functioning autistic people in my family, and around me. The adults are successful individuals with families, and the kids I know, including my own, are good students with perfectly fine career potential.

But it takes a lot more parenting to get them to that point, and that's why you need professional help and services. Bear in mind that you will probably face a diagnosis of anxiety, first, since that it the most obvious symptom. High-functioning autism can take years to diagnose.

Good luck. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
[/quote]

Terrible take. She’s an indulged only child. At home they cater everything to her needs and whims but on this trip she didn’t get that and she didn’t like it. [/quote]

PP you replied to. The indulged child scenario would really be the best case one, people. I did not address it because PPs had already done so. I am addressing the other possibility - the one where parents are FORCED to indulge an inflexible child's demands because otherwise the child will sabotage all outings, and all activities, due to their particular mental make-up. That profile is an autistic one. Parents in that scenario are unfairly blamed by people like you, and on top of struggling to find help, they are also shamed by their community. It can lead to a delay in diagnosis, since people around them distract them with another option, and it lead to child abuse, when the frantic parent, desperate to "control their child", as their relatives or friends or teachers demand, start implementing extreme measures to ensure compliance. And it alienates autistic children even further in the process.

I wish I didn't know all this, PP. You're lucky, and other posters are lucky, that you can just gaily zero in on "oh, you're just a lax parent, get your act together!". Because some parents try that for years and then realize their child has autism. And all the while you're on your merry way, judging all the parents of children with special needs.

Lucky you.
[/quote]

Thank you for posting this. Solidarity.

OP, you're kid is really young and it's great you are asking these questions. Take the shame right out of it. You are responding to the kid in front of you. If you've been too accommodating, you can start to shift that. She's only 4! Good job asking the question now and not when she's 10!

But this is not your fault. I would ask teachers and other adults she works with to get more of an idea of where she fits in among her peers. [/quote]

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