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[quote=Anonymous]If your mom isn’t toxic, is still alive, and in your life, you can’t really fathom what she’s going through. Give her some grace. She’s reeling right now, and took it out on you. You weren’t in the wrong — but you didn’t get your response to her bereavement quite right, either.

In the future, regardless of how close you are to someone who is grieving, do what you can to acknowledge their grief without adding to their burden. Try not to ask them questions. Look for an online obituary to get funeral details. Send them food or make a donation to whatever charity is listed in the obituary. A heartfelt message in a card is more meaningful than a candle.

Your post reminds me of my dh when we were a young couple and his friends had a baby. I said we should take them food. He argued that that was a ridiculous suggestion because they definitely didn’t need food. Fast forward to after our twins were born. He told me that I’d been right, we should have brought them food, but he just didn’t get it until he’d lived it.[/quote]

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