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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]thanks for all the great opinions. I thought i would just invite her to look at my page (which is under a pseudonym so not easily found) so she can see photos. It's "public" so she does not have to "friend" me to see it - right?
 
[b]It was an "open" adoption and I happen to know she went to a very well-off family and had a privileged upbringing, had a brother, went to a gorgeous university, etc. Her parents were very loving and grateful and i can't imagine she really felt THAT rejected.[/b]
 
I was a poor, messed up teenager. Do adopted children understand this about their birthmothers? I was not drug addicted, I just could not offer her what a child deserves, and knew there were hundreds of families out there that could.
 
[b]Also, in my personal adoption file, I put "please don't contact" (it's a choice birthmothers have in open adoptions) and she did anyway so I don't feel that bad about that, either.[/b]
 
And thanks for the "wait til the weekend" advice- i'll do that.[/quote]

From your second post, it doesn't seem like you are very sensitive to this young woman's feelings.  If this is truly where you are coming from, it might be better not to contact her right now.  [/quote]

I agree with the PP.  Having money and a fancy college degree does not take away the hurt of being rejected by your birth mother.[/quote]

My mother and aunt were both adopted into a very well off family.  They went to the best schools and were given anything and everything they desired in life.  That NEVER made up for the rejection that they felt from being "given" up.  They both knew/know (my mom has passed away) that they are loved by their adoptive parents, but there is always a part of them that is missing.  My mom was able to get medical info, along with some personal info, from her bio mother, but was a bit hurt when she did not want to meet her or even talk to her.

Just because your daughter has been blessed with a charmed life, does not make the pain ever go away.  If you want to contact her, then I feel you should be willing to give her as much as she needs.  Not saying you have to start a relationship with each other, but be prepared to give her information on you, your family history, medical history, what you know about her birth father, etc.   Sharing with her that you are now happily married with a family and inviting her to see photos of this is kind of cruel.  Maybe not to you, but if it was me, it would be you hurting me yet again.  [/quote]

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