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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]thanks for all the great opinions. I thought i would just invite her to look at my page (which is under a pseudonym so not easily found) so she can see photos. It's "public" so she does not have to "friend" me to see it - right?

It was an "open" adoption and[b] I happen to know she went to a very well-off family and had a privileged upbringing, had a brother, went to a gorgeous university, etc. Her parents were very loving and grateful and i can't imagine she really felt THAT rejected. [/b]

[b]I was a poor, messed up teenager. Do adopted children understand this about their birthmothers? [/b]I was not drug addicted, I just could not offer her what a child deserves, and knew there were hundreds of families out there that could.

Also, in my personal adoption file, I put "please don't contact" (it's a choice birthmothers have in open adoptions) and she did anyway so I don't feel that bad about that, either.

And thanks for the "wait til the weekend" advice- i'll do that.[/quote]

Sounds like you are still messed up if you can't understand that a degree from a good university, nice clothes, and a privileged upbringing can't undo the fact tht yes, the mother that gave her life didn't want her. Yes, intellectually she might understand. But she is human and your rejection, not once but twice, might still sting her degree from a "gorgeous university" notwithstanding. I think you did her a favor by not burdening her with your bs when she tried to contact you, and you should stay the hell away from her. [b]You as a fantasy sounds more healthy to her than you as a reality.[/b][/quote]

I agree with what you said, but not with this part. Given how narcissistic OP is, I think it might be better that she contacts her daughter. That way the daughter will quickly lose all illusions and appreciate her adoptive parents all the more. [/quote]

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