Reply to Should I contact birth child?

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[quote=Anonymous]My best friend was adopted and when she tried to contact through the agency (still not public in those years) she was denied by both sides. Later the father called with some health info. The mother provided none.

When records were unsealed legally she tried again with both sides and while the father again provided more info, the mother honestly was brutal. Out of the blue, after writing a tentative, kind 'I've had a great life' letter, a lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to my friend and it was horrible. The language was basically "had we known the laws changed we would have made this clearer for you. You have caused a lot of hurt in contacting us...etc " (the nerve!)

Anyway, my point is, even to this day, though she has closed that chapter, my friend would gladly have contact and it would mean the world if she could have that from the birth parents. She has great self-esteem and was raised by a loving, fun wealthy family and yet still feels like these people would rather she doesn't exist. She often wonders why they had her (though she's thankful they did). In this day and age, it's just hard for her to understand why she is such a secret. It's not the 1920s anymore. babies are born out of wedlock. big deal.[/quote]

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