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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH and I make a ton of money. It’s new to us but we’re on track to clear $900k this year with all of my RSUs and it could be closer to a million. For context, this amount is with a new job of mine but previously we’ve been clearing 400-500k for five years or so.

I have no idea where to put this in my head but he gets super nervous about spending now. He makes these broad announcements that “we’re not spending money this week.” Or he just walked into the living room and announced to me that next week on vacation I have to “be reasonable.”

For that one, I looked down at my target sundress laying on my decade old kid stained couch and I was like “please explain one instance where I wasn’t ‘reasonable’.” He of course can’t and just is like “you know what I mean!!” Which to be honest I DONT bc the minute I try to ask him what reasonable means to him he gets all flustered.

Not only is it annoying but it really gets me going when I’m the one clearing $750k, please look me in the eye and tell me not to go clothes shopping on vacation. I feel it would be pretty rude to point this out to him but I’m right on the edge. There is no history of either of us being spenders or flashy at all. Our biggest splurge is a house in Chevy Chase. Outside of that it’s seven year old cars and target runs.

Has anyone experienced a spouse getting more controlling about money the more you have? [/quote]

Who manages the money? Keeps track of expenses, investments, etc?  You, him or neither?  I'm leaning towards neither.  It also appears that you are mixing finances, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

I'd sit with him and create or discuss the existing budget and spend levels so you both are on the same page about annual expenses.  
Same goes for investments and net worth.  How much do you have, how much will you have in 5, 10, 15 and 20 years?  Is it enough to generate income that will surpass your annual spend levels? Do you have enough life and other insurance should something go wrong?
Assuming you are not spendthrifts (you don't sound like it) a significant chunk of your income should be going towards savings and increasing investments.  Agree on a number that you will spend out of your savings on whatever.. For example, if you have been making $500K each year, spending $150K and saving $200K (the rest going to taxes) that is a healthy savings number that should be sort of a baseline for savings.  Anything above that should be fair game for spending - clothes, cars, vacations, etc.  If you can't do this yourselves, find an advisor to break the good news to DH.  I think your DH is not used to a lot of money and is panicking that something might go wrong.[/quote]

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