Reply to Envy of other women’s husbands

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Many, many women- friends and acquaintances have told me that.  They all want someone like my husband.  My family adores him too.

He is great and I love him, but what none of them know is that he did have a midlife breakdown (year 18 of marriage), started drinking more and was a d@ck at home and had an affair before getting help/therapy, treatment.  All water under the bridge now.

You never know what someone is like or been through behind closed doors.[/quote]

This is so, so true. I love my husband and think he's great, but there is so much about the reality of sharing a life with another person that an outsider just can't understand. Things that look appealing from across a restaurant table look very, very different from inside a marriage.

Marriage has taught me that one of the most important qualities to look for in a partner is someone who is willing and capable of change. Not because you want to change everything about them, but because marriage is a long time and circumstances change and needs change and you don't WANT your husband to be the same person at 50 that he was at 35, even if 35 was great. You need someone capable of growth and who has the ability to respond to the situation and make adjustments in themselves. Not someone who will always expect you to be changing to accommodate them because, after all, they are so great and you are so lucky.[/quote]

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