Reply to How Much Do You Pay for Assisted Living?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my culture, children care for their aging parents except for the more serious cases. I am a bit disturbed that so many Americans leave their parents to be cared for by strangers (for decades!) and their children to be raised by strangers too (nannies). Smh.
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[b]The sad fact is that most families need two incomes to get by these days.  Women are giving their labor to corporations and simply aren’t available to provide labor at home like the did in the past[/b]

I come from an immigrant family and my mother cared for two elderly relatives in our home until their last few months when they needed a higher level of care than she could provide and they went to nursing homes.  [/quote]

Two incomes are required to provide a very high standard of living.  You could easily live off one income if you lived in a smaller house, one limited driving vacation to see family, no kids activities outside of running around the neighborhood, one car, one TV, no iPhones etc.  Most people don’t think a job is so terrible that they need to live a 1950s lifestyle.  Why would a woman with options want to forgo a paycheck and the resulting luxuries to provide unpaid labor to a relative?  What you’re describing is simply progress and women having better options than they did in the past.  [/quote]

It wouldn't be unpaid labor. By taking care of them yourself, you are avoiding the cost of assisted living - anywhere from $72,000 to $120,000 per person per year. That money that presumably the elderly parents would have used to pay for that would presumably come to you instead. (And yes, if you are the caregiver then you can and should make arrangements for the elderly relative's will to favor you rather than dividing everything equally among siblings who are not doing any caregiving.)

Needless to say, if this is your mom or dad, you are partially repaying them for the love and resources they provided to you.

I am curious if you think your kids have any obligation to care for you when you're old. You're ok with them dumping you in assisted living? That's the price of "progress"?

Or are you one of these people who says, "when I get old I'll just do assisted suicide"?  :roll: [/quote]

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