Reply to Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I didn’t talk about the vast majority of these, at least not in detail or with thoughtfulness. But we have always had a super strong marriage and relationship - 23 years now.

We were young when we were dating - early and mid 20s right out of college and in grad school. Honestly, most of these questions we didn’t have well formed ideas on, because we were just finding ourselves, and figuring out who we were as adults. If we’d formally discussed these things, half the answers would have just been speculation anyhow (like, who at age 23 knows if they want to be a city or rural person, when you’ve only lived by yourself anywhere for a year or two).

The flip side is that because we were so young and didn’t have settled expectations on all these things, we got to grow and develop our opinions on them together as a unit, so in the end or values and views stayed pretty aligned. Like, on the city vs rural one we both lived in the same city together for 10 years, in the same shitty apartments and on the same right budget with the same crappy city stuff impacting us both, so by 35 we were both on the same timeline and happy to leave. Not everything aligns like that, but I’d say most of the big questions do. [/quote]

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