Reply to i'm desperate -- weird potty issue

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I agree with those who are saying I made it worse when I tried to remedy it with a long day at his grandmas (only to eventually pick him up and let him go with me at 5 pm) and also when I have let him escalate and have huge meltdowns and then ultimately still gave in. I am aware of this toddler trap and do not do it in other instances -- I can resist the worst of meltdowns over begging for candy or junk food, not wanting to go somewhere, whatever. And because of our firm boundaries he is a good, sweet kid, and I think we are mostly decent parents.

But this is different -- I think I went wrong somewhere around age 3 and can't come back from it. I truly fear that if I hold a super firm line on this, it will impact his health and might mess him up mentally around going to the bathroom even worse than he already is. Reading some of these responses, I'm glad he isn't constipated or afraid to go, or peeing the bed or something....BUT it's brutal that he's so controlling and stubborn on this part of it. I think I'll try the approach of taking all the struggle out of it, because maybe that's the attention he wants, and then hoping he matures and starts to understand and this all goes away.

At this point I'm looking ahead to potty training my younger son in the next 6-8 months (he's 2 this summer), and I'm wondering how not to recreate this problem. When they are super little and just starting out, I recognize you have to be standing there to support them and show them how. But how early on do I just start to say, okay, go to the bathroom?  [/quote]

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