Reply to Academic IEPs vs weak extra-curriculars

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.  [/quote]

I'm the poster with the 18 year old ADHD/ASD son.

You do not understand where the line is. IEPs save students who would fail school without services and accommodations. Everything else is the parents' responsibility.

My child had an IEP until 12th grade. We spent thousands of dollars, OP, on neuropsychological evaluations and one-on-one tutors, to help our son understand his coursework. This was not on our public school to fix. It was on us. A neuropsych today at Stixrud's costs more than 5K. It's 8 hours of testing over two days. His specialized tutors cost $90/hr for writing and up to $350/hr for math (he also has dyscalculia, a specific learning disability in math).

We debated whether to hire the services of a private college counselor, specialized in learning disabilities, but ultimately decided it was too much and we could do the same ourselves. I helped him search for colleges, helped him figure out what he wanted to write in his essays, kept an eye on deadlines, sent his scores, reminded him to ask for letters of recommendations, checked his Common App for completion, filled out the FAFSA and CSS, etc...

All this is very often the parents' job. Where I live in Bethesda, every single student has a tutor at some point, either for remediation or acceleration or both. Every family helps their kid get ahead, in academics or extra-curriculars. Many families curate their children's list of extra-curriculars early on in elementary/middle school with a view to college admissions, since a lot of skills need to be built up for years to get to a recognized talent by high school: I will do this for my neurotypical younger child! This has nothing to do with special needs, but everything to do with the arms race that is our current college admissions system!

You have to do your job, OP. No one else is going to do for you. This has nothing to do with other students' disabilities and the services and accommodations that they were allowed to receive at school.

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Me again. I meant an IEP until the end of 11th grade. The reason he was given a 504 in 12th is that his public school system tries to prepare students for the type of accommodations they might receive in college, and those typically resemble 504s. I won't discuss severity of needs given the fact that autism and ADHD are lifelong challenges.

What I do want to point out is that the wealthy are able to push their children further in the game of life than the poor. The services you want for your child are your own to pay for! I think this is what you may be struggling with. My child with special needs, if he cannot live independently, will have a trust fund. I am so thankful we are in a position to do this for him. I grieve for all the disabled people on this earth whose families cannot protect them and provide a safety net. Be thankful if your child is functional and won't need your lifelong support and beyond.

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