Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

PP's point was that their kid could very well be one of those kids you characterize as having "mild academic mental issues." Even if you've known a child for years, you may not be aware of the depth of their challenges.

Heck, I lived with my own kid for 13 years without realizing she had ADHD. She hid her inattention and massive anxiety for years, and was smart enough to make decent grades, so we all thought she was just gifted but dreamy and scattered, and unmotivated. We got her therapy for the anxiety when she finally acknowledged it, which led to the ADHD diagnosis. With therapy and medication, she's been able to expand her extracurriculars and do things we never dreamed she'd have the energy and focus to do.

But she's never been given any accommodations from the school system, because her grades in advanced classes showed that she was able to access the curriculum effectively. It didn't matter that it was wearing her out, that she was mentally and physically exhausted from trying to meet expectations and hold it together all day. That she was too worn out at the end of the day to do any kind of after-school activities, especially with the amount of homework her classes required.

That's literally all the 504/IEP does: adds accommodations and/or supports to allow students to access the curriculum. Not to help kids live their best lives. That's on us as parents.

Anonymous wrote:Let me get this straight. Your kid clearly has anxiety. You did nothing about it and are saying it’s unfair that others got their kids the help they need?

Are you f-ing kidding me? Do you know how much time and money I’ve spent on testing, therapy, meetings with the school to get an IEP, tutors, etc?

Did you even get your kid diagnosed?

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

Anonymous wrote:OP, my junior is similar to yours. A solid student, good grades in rigorous classes, and plays soccer (a LOT). And that’s it. No jobs, no clubs, no volunteering. We’ve discussed how this will limit DC’s college options. And it may not really sink in until DC has some rejections in hand, but it’s been their decision. I can’t make this child be like their sibling who played sports and got great grades but also worked, volunteered and started a club and is now at a T50 college. I’m parenting the child I have, with accordant expectations about college prospects. And neither of us is pointing fingers or looking for scapegoats among their peers.

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

I'm the poster with the 18 year old ADHD/ASD son.

You do not understand where the line is. IEPs save students who would fail school without services and accommodations. Everything else is the parents' responsibility.

My child had an IEP until 12th grade. We spent thousands of dollars, OP, on neuropsychological evaluations and one-on-one tutors, to help our son understand his coursework. This was not on our public school to fix. It was on us. A neuropsych today at Stixrud's costs more than 5K. It's 8 hours of testing over two days. His specialized tutors cost $90/hr for writing and up to $350/hr for math (he also has dyscalculia, a specific learning disability in math).

We debated whether to hire the services of a private college counselor, specialized in learning disabilities, but ultimately decided it was too much and we could do the same ourselves. I helped him search for colleges, helped him figure out what he wanted to write in his essays, kept an eye on deadlines, sent his scores, reminded him to ask for letters of recommendations, checked his Common App for completion, filled out the FAFSA and CSS, etc...

All this is very often the parents' job. Where I live in Bethesda, every single student has a tutor at some point, either for remediation or acceleration or both. Every family helps their kid get ahead, in academics or extra-curriculars. Many families curate their children's list of extra-curriculars early on in elementary/middle school with a view to college admissions, since a lot of skills need to be built up for years to get to a recognized talent by high school: I will do this for my neurotypical younger child! This has nothing to do with special needs, but everything to do with the arms race that is our current college admissions system!

You have to do your job, OP. No one else is going to do for you. This has nothing to do with other students' disabilities and the services and accommodations that they were allowed to receive at school.

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

No one gets that, even if they have an IEP. Those are not in the purview of FAPE.

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

NP here. OP, the PP said that in 12th grade their child was dropped down from an IEP to a 504. In other words, the system does *not* see him as "severe needs". I won't try to argue the system is perfect but school-based services are often grossly insufficient and kids with IEPs face challenges behind closed doors that you would never imagine. The grass really isn't greener on our side.