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[quote=Anonymous]You know that your wife can hire whatever help she needs/wants once your butt is out the door right?  You are kidding yourself if you think she’s not going to do this, I sure would, and I might even pull the kid from daycare or just pay the nanny to be there to get the kid from daycare so I could work, again once your gone, she can spend whatever money she’d like and hire someone for as long as she’d like even if much of their time is to sit at the house and wait for her to call. 
Realize that while you’re gone, she’s still working, and daycare has a way of calling when it is awful for you as a parent, the kid gets an ear infection so you have to miss work.. the kid pukes so you have to miss work, all things that are minor but are very difficult when working and parenting solo, i.e. your husband, the man you married is not physically able to come home and so much as give you a hug or be in the same house because it’s 2:00 in the morning, your kid is in pain, you’re overtired and it’s a long way until morning.  One could argue that you aren’t being supportive of her if you’re willing to put her in this position and expect her to do it solo.  She wants to hire help, let her.

Caring your kid solo on the weekends may be lonely, but at least you don’t have the pressure to be out the door at a certain time.  Nobody will care if you miss baby music class, not even the baby for whom this benefits. If you don’t want your wife to work weekends, tell her. You are well within your rights to say that you are missing family time and couple time. The wife taking a couple hours of PTO is the worst of all worlds, 2 hours a day of pto burns leave real quick, and she’ll still have all the “going to work” drama, getting ready, leaving, hoping like hell daycare doesn’t call, then getting home, it’s one reason I didn’t ever want to work part-time.

As for you taking the baby overseas, the person who mentioned things like formula and the like is correct.  I hope you aren’t expecting another woman to care for your kid, or that worked for your mom will work for you. My parents are great, but I can remember being shocked at how little they remembered about things like toddler proffing their house. Obviously they got something right, I’m still here, but I well remember how sloppy they were at leaving objects out that weren’t safe for a toddler to be around and them thinking “They’ll just know to stay away from it”. In time that’s true, but under 2 is not that time.

How much care are you going to be providing for your mom with caring for your son who will be jetlagged, not used to the food, maybe not used to the water, and may be a bear when it’s bedtime and he misses his mom?  You aren’t as stabilizing a force as you think, what you think of as “mom’s house’ will be a new environment to him. Are you actually going to care for your mom or just visit her? Be clear in your mind.

I personally wouldn’t want my kid going overseas without me. I’d be afraid the kid may not come back.. we may get another travel restriction. A husband may decide or feel he need to stay longer and longer and longer, and before I know it, he’s met a girl and want to marry her and the kid is now used to the country and “hasn’t seen you in awhile. These things do happen. It’s way more then “she’ll miss the baby” and if you don’t understand that, I’m sorry. As sad as it is, you don’t have to go see your mom. Like it or not, there are differences in traveling overseas that you simply don’t get when you stay in country… any country.  If you do go, don’t take the kid.  I’d also as your wife want full power of attorney so I could do whatever I needed while you were gone. If I want to sell the house, I can.  If I need to get into your 401k, I can. Whatever I need to function, I get. We live in a world where people expect to have ready access to their spouse, or their spouse’s information and money. I’d also want to be able to easily divorce you should I need or want to.  Again, you’re leaving me to go to a place where you have roots, history and family, it isn’t illogical to think that you may choose or not be able to return.. in which case I need and derserve to go about my life and be able to make whatever decisions along with the legal teeth behind them so that I can live successfully.  If you won’t do this, think about why. Does your wife have ties to your home country other then you?

Finally, prioritize the marriage. Working weekends and parenting solo can ruin a marriage. Family and couple time matter.  It’s not nice to expect warm fuzzy treatment from your spouse when you yourself aren’t providing it.. which you aren’t. The fact that you expect her to work and parent solo speaks volumes. You also seem to have no concept what working on-site looks like. Part of it is that yes, you do need to be there.  
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