Reply to Feeling Trapped In Parenthood/Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife and I have been married for a few years now and we have a toddler under 2 years old. We both work full time but my wife has to work on site on weekdays and some weekends. I handle the drop offs and she handles the pick ups on most days. On weekends that she has to go into work, I solo parent.

My mom is currently ill with metastatic cancer and I don't know how long she will live. She lives in a foreign country so I always feel guilty that I am not able to take care of her more often. I try to zoom with her for an average of 4x a week (30 min each) so that my mom can say hi to our son but it's not the same meeting in person. So I feel the need to go visit.

My wife and I discussed going as a family to visit but my wife can't take more than a week off. I asked my wife to return to the US alone after a week and I can stay with the kid for 1-2 more weeks and come back with the kid. She vetoed the idea b/c she didn't want to be apart from the baby. I completely understand her fear. So I suggested that she should stay in the US with the kid and I can go for 1-2 weeks by myself and [b]she [/b]didn't like that either and [b]asked for a temporary live in nanny to help with morning prep to send to daycare, pick up, and putting baby to sleep. [/b]There's absolutely no nanny that will do fragmented hours for 1-2 week only. She's essentially saying I can't go alone b/c taking care of kid is too burdensome for her alone but I can't take the kid with me alone either. I feel trapped with no good options. I envisioned married couples would cover for each other when urgent situations arose. I cover for her on the weekends that she works and also when her grandparent passed away.

Why can't she step up and cover for me while I visit my mom (or be apart from the kid for 1-2 weeks if she can't handle the burden of solo parenting?). Am I being unreasonable in asking for 'coverage' while I visit my ailing mom or taking the kid? Do you have any recommendation on a solution? All thoughts appreciated. [/quote]

There absolutely ARE nannies that would do a 1-2 week gig.

Get your butt on Care.com and interview 3-5 of them, and then spend an hour training one up for the week you go. Show them where to drive, what vehicle they will drive. Introduce them to your baby. Type up the typical day or weekly schedule. Train the nanny.

BTDT. Try Nextdoor.com too in case someone is quite local to your house. [/quote]

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