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[quote=Anonymous]RN here so I will try to give you my professjonal advice.  Anasthesia in elderly is risky, even in ones who are alert and oriented prior to surgery.  Delirium and confusion is incredibly common, which can lead to falls and changes in vital signs. And at times, chemical and physical restraints.  Next, if the mass is cancerous, what will you do?   Put her through cancer treatment?   What happens if they end up needing to do an ostomy?    Professionally, moving forward with this doesn't seem like it would be in the best interest for her.  Unfortunately I've seen people suffer because their family wasn't at a point where they were ready to let them go.

Personally, I'm so sorry you're in this position. It is a miserable and awful situation to be in and I don't think there is enough support and education for those who make medical decisions for their loved ones. I was in that place a few years ago with my dad. He was later stage Parkinsons (could still walk and eat but memory and movements drastically diminished)  and ended up with an ischemic bowel. Doctors said they could do surgery but he would end up with an ostomy.  If we didnt go that route he would have less than 24 hours. I knew he wouldn't want an ostomy and I was lucky to have the medical understanding to be confident in my decision.

And my medical but unprofessional opinion.... That doctor sucks. [/quote]

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