Reply to DD got in trouble for "stealing food" and the entire grade has a punishment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] To add flame to the fire DD, who has gotten in trouble at school about five times ever, got accused of stealing food at lunch.[/quote]

You say that as if it’s a small amount of times?! [/quote]

Five times over the course of her education. She has been attending school since preschool so in a sevenyear period she has only gotten in trouble about five times.

In first a boy stole the bathroom pass from her so she wrote him a note saying "Give me back my bathroom pass!" which got her in trouble for passing notes. There was the time she got accused of stealing ice cream and she's gotten in trouble twice for talking. And then there was this incident so yeah, I do think five times is a small number of times.[/quote]
Please note that in the next seven years of her k-12 schooling, there are going to be a dozens of incidents where you daughter tells you something that she describes as her being misunderstood or unfairly punished. This is completely normal and part of developing social skills among her peers. When you go on to believe every word she tells you without hearing the other side of the story and then fret and seethe over it for years afterward, you may be harming her social development in the long run.[/quote]

I don't think my daughter was lying to me. This is not my first-time parenting-she has older siblings and I know when my kids are lying. I don't think believing her will "ruin her social development."[/quote]
It's not that she's necessarily lying, but that her perception of events is not exactly the entire story. She tells you what happened from her point of view and you have no idea if the class was punished because of this one group, or if there were three other groups of kids who were being equally excitable so the monitor put the hammer down. There does seem to be a pattern of you hanging on every incident as if your daughter is being persecuted. The ice cream thing was five years ago, and yes, the adult probably made a mistake. Why even bring it up now? The bathroom pass incident was again, one side of a story that the teacher probably doesn't even remember. But you now consider it one of the great persecutions of your daughter during her elementary school years. These things happen. You calm your daughter, maybe suggest some behavioral adjustment, and the let it go. You are not letting go and you don't even know the whole story.[/quote]
I think you are mischaracterizing OP re bringing up prior incidents. At first she said her daughter was in trouble only 5 times before to try to show her daughter is not a troublemaker. Then she was questioned about why she considers 5 previous incidents not a troublemaker and so she explained those incidents. It’s not as if she brought them up as stories of persecution. And remembering something is not the same thing  as dwelling on it.  This is typical DCUM blame the OP thinking where everything OP says will be challenged and misconstrued.[/quote]
Don't you see that the very way OP describes these incidents literally sounds like the whining of a child? The child is the one claiming she is persecuted and punished by the teachers because of some misunderstanding or accusation. That is normal. Heck, I did that as a child, too. But my own mother recognized that there was probably more to the story, and she also recognized that this was just a single moment in a single day and life carries on. Nobody tallied these as an instance where someone got in trouble, but for some reason OP does exactly that.[/quote]

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