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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "When did you let visitors come see you after giving birth?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1st baby: My father and stepmother (mostly stepmother) barged their way into our home right when we got home from the hospital. She was the opposite of helpful. 2nd baby: wised up and didn't tell people when I went into labor except the person watching Baby 1, and my best friend. Best friend came to our house the day we got home, dropped off food, and took the dog and Baby 1 for a walk, then left. We had a nanny for Baby 1, and DH and I spent two weeks with 2, and didn't tell anyone until after two weeks. "Surprise! We did a thing" kind of announcement. Then we said, "our phones are off, door is locked, we are going to focus on adjusting to being a family of four for a while but after April, if you've had your Tdap we'd love for you to come by if you're in the area to meet the newest member of our family." We really didn't worry about people being offended or thinking we were obnoxious. We were so miserable with what happened with the first baby that we set strong boundaries for the second. We hired a night nurse for six weeks for each baby. [/quote] Just curious if family came over when you wanted and if they are close to your kids. [/quote] NP. This whole thing about people not being close to the baby if they don't get 'access' right away came up when someone else posted wanting to wait to have visitors. It's ridiculous. If someone is so emotionally manipulative that waiting a few weeks to meet the baby justifies some sort of punishment, they probably are a PITA to have around anyways. I didn't meet my best friend's preemie until she was 6 weeks old. Her second came during COVID and I only met him from the sidewalk in front of their house after dropping off food for a long time (months). I'm still extremely close to her kids and was still happy to support with food delivery. Personally had my family at the hospital the day after, but I'm just not judging others for how they choose to handle such a vulnerable time. When certain people in your life show you that they cannot respect boundaries, you need to manage them like the PP did. [/quote]
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