Reply to Sister is getting divorced, no money and no job

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister is in the process of getting divorced. She has kids. Neither she nor her soon to be ex ever made a ton of money, mostly because they never really worked regular jobs. Still do not. But together they were able to piece-together the basics for the kids. Now that she is getting divorced, she cannot do that. She also isn’t interested in getting a job. Which I find to be totally crazy. If she worked at a job, I would be 100% open to helping her and the kids. What would you do in this circumstance? [/quote]

What makes you think this is your problem to solve? Has she outright asked you for money? [/quote]

Oh yeah. All of the time. I have given it to her in the past but she spends it on stupid stuff. Parents have done the same.

I am concerned about the kids. They do not have a stable home life but I am not sure how to help provide one. [/quote]

So you’ve all been enabling this behavior. 
“I’m happy to help as soon as you get a job. And I can pay Xxx bills directly.” Give no cash to her. [/quote]

For sure! But it is so hard when kids are involved. If she didn’t have kids, it would be much easier to tough love the situation. But her kids are my niece and nephew and totally innocent in all of this. [/quote]

Buy them clothes for Christmas presents and birthdays (if they want that.). Practical things like winter jackets and leggings and T-shirts.  For her, give her gift cards to Target for birthdays.  Just decide your boundaries and keep them.  Take the kids out for treats and fun.[/quote]

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