Reply to Going back to work after SAH with zero regrets

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I left a demanding career to SAH almost ten years ago, and I’m now considering going back to work in a lower-pressure field related to my old career.

Although I’m excited about the possible change, I feel like I keep having casual conversations with others that suggest if I’m going back to work I must somehow regret having stayed home. Which isn’t true, at all. I treasure the years I had at home, but my kids are older now and I still have a long life ahead of me. How would you respond to someone who suggests I must regret the last ten years? Or worse, thinks that because I’m going back to work it’s suddenly ok to belittle SAHMs to me? Does anyone else have experience with this? It puts me in such an awkward situation.[/quote]

Ugh, no experience other than being a mom myself and seeing judgment no matter WHAT choices someone makes in this regard. I would just try to cut the conversation off and say something like, "Yes, it has been great being home and I'm also looking forward to the next life phase too. I feel really fortunate."

It really is all about jealousy and/or insecurity.[/quote]

Also this. Moms can’t win. Don’t try and don’t think you are a specific victim here. People are really invested in making the “best” choices when it comes to their kids and family and some people can’t help letting it bled in to their conversations with others. I just had another mom tell me she "couldn't imagine leaving her baby at daycare" knowing full well that was the choice i had made and it was super hard to bit my tongue and not fire back some of tge choices she was making that i couldn't imagine but honestly it doesnt help anyone to add on to that kind of thinking. [/quote]

It goes both ways. I returned to full time work after sah for 10 years. Just yesterday, my young colleague essentially lectured me on the benefits of daycare. I'm glad that she's found something that works for her, but there is no need to "mom-splain" to me, especially when five minutes earlier I told her that chose to stay at home with my kids during the early years. It shows a slight lack of EQ on her part, but I didn't counter her. I smiled through her explanation and  moved on. [/quote]

It sounds like she was insulted by your “I chose to stay home with my kids during the early years” and was responding accordingly. You both are the worst, always assuming ill intent. THAT is why moms can’t win, not because people actually care about your family decisions. [/quote]

How can you be insulted by a colleague's decision to stay home with her kids 15 years ago? That's just crazy. 
And also, that's not what was happening. She was full on lecturing me about the benefits of daycare. Which is fine with me. I have zero problem with day care. But she CLEARLY has a problem with sahms.   
No matter what choice you make, you are going to encounter people who tell you that your decision is wrong and some who think your decision is right. [/quote]

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