Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, but I gotta ask: your kid is “miserable” in kindergarten and you’re blaming the school? That’s a lot to pin on a school.

Disagree. Lots of bad Ks out there--age-inappropriate expetactions, yelling teachers, kids with scary behaviors, etc.

+1

+1 more
It happens often

OP here and thank you. I don't just "blame the school" but yes -- it has been a rough year because there is very little joy in that classroom, lots of behavioral issues which leads to very strict rules and tons of class "punishments" that just suck all the pleasure out of what should actually not be a horrible chore (learning reading and other useful, basic skills in a classroom of peers). My kid is a happy kid generally but regularly says she hates school and doesn't want to go. She'll come home after school and I'll ask what the best and worst parts of her day were, and she often struggles to come up with a best. Often it's something like "when something bad happened, I didn't get too disappointed like I did last time." It's really hard to hear. She also complains about stuff a lot and while some of it is normal kid complaints where I'm like "that's just how life is" some of them are things that I actually do think are dumb rules that don't make sense. Like they regularly punish the kids by not letting them go out for recess. These kids are 5/6 years old and they are in a classroom all day. They need to run around. It is cutting off your nose to spite your face to use the small amount of free play/outdoor time they are allocated as a tool for punishment. It's just going to result in more bad behavior.

So yeah, I'm not enthusiastic about staying at this school another year. Maybe next year's teacher will be better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Thank you for the post. For those of us with littler kids, what kind of groundwork do you suggest?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Ugh, my DH and I just had this argument, basically. I want to go, he wants to stick it out. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I think the uncertainty and stress is bad for me and the kids, he thinks it's not a big deal and that kids adjust. No one has a crystal ball. I do the vast majority of the work around the lottery and school in general (so the negatives of our current school impact me a lot more). But we can't agree to move so I guess we won't. I'll be back on this board in a year and maybe I won't be in the "disappointment" thread again. Or maybe I will be.

I hate it, I get why the lottery is an improvement over the old system but I don't think it's a great system either. The real issues seems to be that there are too few spots at successful schools, full stop. We're all competing for too few spots at too few schools. Or there are too many struggling schools. I don't know. I am not looking for the Harvard of schools, but I want one that doesn't have major issues and it feels like that's hard in this city.

Another family in the throes of this discussion. I also want to go and husband was initially against it. He seems to be coming around. My biggest argument is some degree of continuity for the kids. I seriously hate this lottery every year or just deal with whatever. So it is either move or private for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5th grader is miserable at her current school due to bullying. We were waitlisted across the board for privates and the best WL we have is for the lottery is above 60.

I guess we’ll look at moving but that’s easier said than done. I don’t know what we’ll do. We feel stuck.

I don't know what privates you applied to, but I would encourage you to reach out to some of the K-8 schools and see if they have flexibility or openings. We did, and found an amazing middle school experience.

St Patrick's might have spots - the rumor is they are under-enrolled. NPS only goes through 6 but they often lose kids in 3/4 to go to the the STA/NCS and Landon/Holton. It would only be for a year but its a small school and really caring so they might be a good fit and then you can work out a better situation for middle/high.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Ugh, my DH and I just had this argument, basically. I want to go, he wants to stick it out. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I think the uncertainty and stress is bad for me and the kids, he thinks it's not a big deal and that kids adjust. No one has a crystal ball. I do the vast majority of the work around the lottery and school in general (so the negatives of our current school impact me a lot more). But we can't agree to move so I guess we won't. I'll be back on this board in a year and maybe I won't be in the "disappointment" thread again. Or maybe I will be.

I hate it, I get why the lottery is an improvement over the old system but I don't think it's a great system either. The real issues seems to be that there are too few spots at successful schools, full stop. We're all competing for too few spots at too few schools. Or there are too many struggling schools. I don't know. I am not looking for the Harvard of schools, but I want one that doesn't have major issues and it feels like that's hard in this city.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, but I gotta ask: your kid is “miserable” in kindergarten and you’re blaming the school? That’s a lot to pin on a school.

Disagree. Lots of bad Ks out there--age-inappropriate expetactions, yelling teachers, kids with scary behaviors, etc.

+1

+1 more
It happens often

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Anonymous wrote:High school aged kid not even waitlisted at top three choices, deemed "ineligible" at all three application schools, not even granted an interview.

I feel bad for him. He's a great kid who's current school is begging him to stay. He's just weary of the bullying and drug use there.

Told him at midnight. Will try to look at moving options or privates.

Anonymous wrote:Straight A student at Deal. Waitlisted at privates, waitlisted at walls, number too high to get in. Headed to Jackson Reed and so disappointed. DC is so bored and unchallenged at Deal and I worry it’ll be more of the same at JR. I feel like we failed DC. We are willing to make the financial sacrifice for private but I feel like that whole process was a waste of time and that system is rigged against kids coming from DCPS unless they are a star athlete or have another “hook”.

Thank you for letting me join the pity party.

Anonymous wrote:Straight A student at Deal. Waitlisted at privates, waitlisted at walls, number too high to get in. Headed to Jackson Reed and so disappointed. DC is so bored and unchallenged at Deal and I worry it’ll be more of the same at JR. I feel like we failed DC. We are willing to make the financial sacrifice for private but I feel like that whole process was a waste of time and that system is rigged against kids coming from DCPS unless they are a star athlete or have another “hook”.

Thank you for letting me join the pity party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5th grader is miserable at her current school due to bullying. We were waitlisted across the board for privates and the best WL we have is for the lottery is above 60.

I guess we’ll look at moving but that’s easier said than done. I don’t know what we’ll do. We feel stuck.

I don't know what privates you applied to, but I would encourage you to reach out to some of the K-8 schools and see if they have flexibility or openings. We did, and found an amazing middle school experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, but I gotta ask: your kid is “miserable” in kindergarten and you’re blaming the school? That’s a lot to pin on a school.

Disagree. Lots of bad Ks out there--age-inappropriate expetactions, yelling teachers, kids with scary behaviors, etc.

+1