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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think my parents nor ILs have favorites, at least not outwardly. My grandfather definitely did (me) but to be fair, he was my favorite grandparent. I think it had to do with the fact that he was the oldest grandparent so he was the only one who was retired when I was a kid and was around a lot. My grandparents lived in our neighborhood and my mom was a SAHM so we were at home all day until I was 4/5.[/quote]

I'm the PP whose SIL is convinced my kid is favored.

Some of it is this.  We have lived very close to FIL's my kids' entire lives.   In contrast, all their cousins live further away, and have at times lived plane rides away.  And while all the kids love their Grandpa, my youngest adores him on a whole different level.  So, if my FIL is cooking, or working in the yard, or doing the laundry or whatever, my kid is right there asking "Can I help? Can I help?" while the other cousins, including my other kid, have drifted off to play in the backyard, or read a book, or play video games or whatever.  And over time, this has meant that my Grandpa obsessed kid learned FIL's activities and now they are kid's activities too.  My SIL sees that as "they always pick things he likes", but it's not that my kid loves laundry.  He loves doing laundry with his Grandpa.

The flip side of this was that until my SIL moved closer, her kids were treated like guests.  So, they'd come visit and FIL would have stocked the kitchen with their favorite foods, and bought them some toys, and bought tickets to a puppet show.  Whereas, my kids would go over after school and it would be "eat your vegetables", "remember to clear your plate", "lets' start your homework".  My kids complained a few times that that felt like favoritism, but I just explained that he was excited to see the kids he saw less often, and they understood.  It's just a different relationship.  Now that they live close he goes to her house a few times a week to babysit, so that dynamic is changing.  [/quote]

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