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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m a host who tried to always come date, but I get your burnout, and it’s okay to set boundaries gracefully.

I have very severe lactose intolerance (I can’t take some medications that have it as a filler), but I usually won’t tell hosts ahead of unless they specifically ask. I’ve gotten around MANY dinner parties asking on the spot and happily eating around *my* problem.

Personally, I have less of a “problem” with picky guests who have always been picky than the ones who are constantly shifting diets. I know Larla has hated mushrooms and onions since she was a kid, so at 50, I’m not changing her mind. My entire menu for Jane who was vegetarian last month but is now keto is what pains me, although I do do it (I love to cook, so it’s always a fun challenge). Certain people I just don’t invite together if I can avoid it.

My only advice, and again it pains me to say, is one workaround for things like holidays where you “must” host is to make exceedingly simple dishes and offer an array of interesting condiments and sides. It sucks to have to reserve holidays for your most boring food, but it keeps the peace and actually can make the prep easier for you. Plain roast beast if some sort, roast tofu for the vegetarians, and more plain sides like potatoes, etc. Add interest with different sauces, compound butters, spices, etc. at serving table level.

Or, do an appetizer style / “bite” evening. They’re a little different to run, but the portions mean everyone gets a bit and feels validated that what they like is served to everyone, and a lot of prep can be done well ahead of time.

In any case, if you’re done, you’re done. It’s okay to host but have it work for you. Potluck it if you’re always the one scrambling to find recipes that satisfy the keto vegan who won’t eat onions. [/quote]

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