Reply to Expectations about behavior at Whitman School

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anon156][quote=Anonymous]Your daughter needs an psychological evaluation, OP, to assess whether she has ADHD, or anxiety, or something else that is predisposing her to such behaviors. You would be a neglectful parent to ignore this and chalk it up to her friends' bad influences, because if she has untreated issues, she will continue to suffer and reduce her chances of creating healthy friendships and academic success.

Walt Whitman is an academic pressure cooker (read The Overachievers, by a Whitman alum, about the school), and most kids stay out of trouble because they're too busy working to get into selective universities.

MCPS and other public school systems are known for their failed restorative justice policies and lack of discipline when it comes to real crime and assault. MCPS has a rulebook, but I've got to say, it's rarely followed, particularly for classroom behavior issues and dress code issues. Children with behavior disorders (ex: who scream at teachers and throw chairs, we've know a few over the course of 12 years of MCPS) and who should really be in a contained classroom under special guidance, do not face much discipline because teachers and administrators' hands are tied, due to deliberate prioritization of graduation rates. Every student is pushed to graduate in the hopes they will be financially independent as adults, even if they haven't actually fulfilled academic requirements. So families flock to wealthy neighborhoods that place heavy importance on academics, in an attempt to get their kids in with a crowd of hard-working students. It usually works, which is why they keep doing it.

This is the reality of public school, where they can't select on entry, OP. So it behooves your child to exercise self-control and develop her own work ethic. Help her with that. 
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Thanks for this - I just wanted to reassure that DD is already under psychological support - I am just weighing in my mind whether she would thrive or she would struggle at WW. I am sure she has the brains to go through it academically - it is just a matter of whether she wants to put the hard work and deal with the pressure or become disruptive, that is what I am trying to work our in my mind which way will it go ...   I already ordered the book, thanks.

I am confused as from one side I see all these posts about WW being pretty hard and academically rigorous (which I love it personally!)  but on the other side I come across about the drug misuse, the terrible sexual allegations (including the coach and the annual ball, now cancelled), the revolting racists incidents and the incidents with the three kids from the youth shelter. The neighborhood seems amazingly safe - never had any concern walking around although admittingly I did not walk at night in the residential area, only in the Apple store area. t

I am mentally struggling to reconcile the diverging pictures (violence, allegations, racism on one side and academic excellence and well-behaved children on the other) which I get from the same school! Any help for me to go through this process would be great   :)

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It sounds like you have the right picture of WW's situation. On the academic rigor, I would say that all MCPS schools are what you make them.  At the top schools in the county, kids sign up for tons of AP courses (too many, imho, because there is a sort of arms race of keeping up with peers).  Lots of kids over-achieving to build a good profile for college admissions.  But MCPS, itself, is very lenient academically.  Late work is tolerated (in my school, it is not quite encouraged but my kid has the impression that it is normal and no big deal because of the leniency of policies).  There are also tons of makeup quizzes offered and that kind of thing.  So yes, kids work very hard and push themselves for top grades.  But the school itself gives them a lot of slack.

Socially, there are definitely all of the incidents that you describe.  The number of racial incidents is heartbreaking.  My own experience with them is that they come from rich, entitled kids and are done anonymously.  As an AA family, I can say that all AA kids we know (probably all minority kids) have some experience with issues, but they are mostly microaggressions and things like anonymous graffiti rather than direct racial confrontations.  Drugs are also a problem, as they seem to be everywhere.  (I have a kid at a top private university and she says that the worst drug use there is among the rich kids from elite private high schools).

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