Reply to Why don't parents understand that their kids lie and/or misrepresent things?

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Reply to "Why don't parents understand that their kids lie and/or misrepresent things?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To me the worst thing about this thread is this idea that students and teachers are in opposition and parents must “pick a side.” That’s a really unhealthy attitude about education.

Viewing that relationship as one of conflict, instead of trust/collaboration, likely drives students and teachers to lie, or at least massage the truth, more than they would otherwise.

Like others on this thread, I had a teacher lie about me to get me in trouble when I was a kid. She was definitely doing it in order to discredit me. I had been expressing frustration with questionable behavior on her part, and she knew if the admin believes me (I was being truthful, if a bit self-righteous), she’d get in trouble. So she manufactured something to make me sound bad.

What was terrifying to me at the time was how easily she did it, without really thinking how it would impact me. And what she perhaps didn’t know but should have at least considered us that I come from a strict family where my parents, upon learning this lie about me and of course believing it over my denials, punished me very harshly for it. I was just a kid and I had NO advocate or someone to protect me. This memory is very strong for me because that level of feeling powerless is brutal.

So if you are a teacher, or if you have the attitude that parents should ALWAYS believe teachers over kids, my suggestion to you is to take a step back and ask why the situation devolved to a conflict over “the truth” in the first place. And also remember that kids need advocates, they need people who will listen to them, and that it’s very easy for all the adults in a room to just decide what the kid has to say doesn’t matter.

Ideally all parties would look for ways to come together and work out conflicts without lying or needing to place blame. But I’m uncomfortable with the idea that if blame is placed, the kid is always on the receiving end and the teacher never is. It’s dangerous and can really harm kids.

[/quote]

You can take the scare quotes off the truth, for the truth does indeed exist.

So many coddling, enabling parents. This country is doomed.[/quote]

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