Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what is is teachers get out of posting anonymously here to bash parents. It is not a good look for your profession, as you can see from the responses.

Anonymous wrote:To me the worst thing about this thread is this idea that students and teachers are in opposition and parents must “pick a side.” That’s a really unhealthy attitude about education.

Viewing that relationship as one of conflict, instead of trust/collaboration, likely drives students and teachers to lie, or at least massage the truth, more than they would otherwise.

Like others on this thread, I had a teacher lie about me to get me in trouble when I was a kid. She was definitely doing it in order to discredit me. I had been expressing frustration with questionable behavior on her part, and she knew if the admin believes me (I was being truthful, if a bit self-righteous), she’d get in trouble. So she manufactured something to make me sound bad.

What was terrifying to me at the time was how easily she did it, without really thinking how it would impact me. And what she perhaps didn’t know but should have at least considered us that I come from a strict family where my parents, upon learning this lie about me and of course believing it over my denials, punished me very harshly for it. I was just a kid and I had NO advocate or someone to protect me. This memory is very strong for me because that level of feeling powerless is brutal.

So if you are a teacher, or if you have the attitude that parents should ALWAYS believe teachers over kids, my suggestion to you is to take a step back and ask why the situation devolved to a conflict over “the truth” in the first place. And also remember that kids need advocates, they need people who will listen to them, and that it’s very easy for all the adults in a room to just decide what the kid has to say doesn’t matter.

Ideally all parties would look for ways to come together and work out conflicts without lying or needing to place blame. But I’m uncomfortable with the idea that if blame is placed, the kid is always on the receiving end and the teacher never is. It’s dangerous and can really harm kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher (and a parent), I am always surprised when a kid tells some story to their parents about what happened in class and the parent refuses to believe that what the kid said isn't true. First of all, kids perceive things differently because they feel like they are under a microscope, but also, kids lie. They lie to get out of trouble, avoid blame or work, and for tons of other weird reasons. A parent refusing to believe an adult who is partnering with them in their child's education is a betrayal. Public service announcement: your kid tells untruths. It's developmentally appropriate. You're not a bad parent when this happens.

How did the conversation go OP? I used to teach and I know kids lie. But some MCPS teachers' communication skills are terrible. As an MCPS administrator said to me recently when a teacher got irrationally and unreasonably upset at something I said, perception is reality and if the hearer didn't understand the message correctly, it was the speaker's fault. You can't have it both ways...

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher (and a parent), I am always surprised when a kid tells some story to their parents about what happened in class and the parent refuses to believe that what the kid said isn't true. First of all, kids perceive things differently because they feel like they are under a microscope, but also, kids lie. They lie to get out of trouble, avoid blame or work, and for tons of other weird reasons. A parent refusing to believe an adult who is partnering with them in their child's education is a betrayal. Public service announcement: your kid tells untruths. It's developmentally appropriate. You're not a bad parent when this happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.

Either you don't have kids in MCPS or your children have had charmed lives in MCPS.

The overwhelming majority of teachers have been terrific. However, I've caught several teachers and even administrators misrepresenting facts where I had emails or screenshots showing what they were saying was false. One time, another parent witnessed what my child reported, but the teacher lied and said it never happened.

I won't say my children have never painted a picture to make themselves look better in a situation than they were, and when I've caught them, there have been consequences. However, it's hard for kids to learn integrity when their teachers don't model it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.

Either you don't have kids in MCPS or your children have had charmed lives in MCPS.

The overwhelming majority of teachers have been terrific. However, I've caught several teachers and even administrators misrepresenting facts where I had emails or screenshots showing what they were saying was false. One time, another parent witnessed what my child reported, but the teacher lied and said it never happened.

I won't say my children have never painted a picture to make themselves look better in a situation than they were, and when I've caught them, there have been consequences. However, it's hard for kids to learn integrity when their teachers don't model it.

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:The amount of parents here defending 12yr olds and accusing teachers of lying is disgusting.