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[quote=Anonymous]OP. Thank you all for your thoughtful responses and for sharing your experiences. I can see how the change in personality by itself can be very hurtful for kids/teens. Eg, when a beloved grandmother makes unwarranted mean comments about a girl’s weight. I wonder whether the meanness is selective in some way, as I am closer to my mom than my sister is, she says more hurtful things to me. I can take it, although a hard pill to swallow (and not how I want to remember our relationship), but it can’t be good for the kids. I also don’t know that it would teach them empathy, I think they’d run from any caregiving situation and not touch it with a 10 Ft pole. This happened to my friend. Even having to visit her grandmother in memory care was too much for her and she is not taking care of her elderly mom - she lives rather far away and has no intention to return home for her widowed mother. I am coming to terms with my mom not living with us. Unfortunately we won’t have the situation where I can visit regularly, as she lives a very long plane ride away from me (I moved away from home). Something I definitely grapple with, and which gives me a lot of guilt. Then OTOH, I sometimes get very hurt by the things my mom says to me. Definitely a conflict I face. [/quote]

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