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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I was in a relationship (lived together for 7 years) to a man who turned out to be gay.  I have to say that a lot of what you say sounds just like him.  It was terrible to go through the discovery (I caught him looking at stuff on the internet and demanded he show me his email, etc.).  But to this day, I wonder why I didn't expect better for myself all along.  FWIW, he would not answer the question when I directly answered him - not until after we were broken up.  I could explain away everything - he was depressed, he had low self-esteem, he was more sensitive/artistic than other men, blah, blah.  I had to discover something ... and if I hadn't tried to explain things away all the time, I would have discovered something much earlier.

We didn't have kids, so obviously your situation is much more complicated.

If I were you, I'd go through everything - his emails, web searches, mail, ask questions of his old friends (maybe ones he is no longer friendly with ...).  Unfortunately it's the only way some people will confess.  I think they truly love the person they are with and don't want to let them down, so will continue to hide everything.  Of course, your DH won't want to lose his family.  But - I found that living with a lie was unbearable - it took me many years to get over the fact that someone could do that to me.

OP - I'd be happy to chat sometime if you want.  Let me know if you're interested and I can give you an email to write to.

Good luck.[/quote]

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