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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Most of the responses to this post are extremely disappointing and kinda dangerous. I have been looking into support resources for parents of LGBTQ kids, such as the Trevor Project. They all say that the feelings I am experiencing are ok and very common. It’s not about homophobia. It’s the fact that they now belong in an oppressed and marginalized group. I worry about hate crimes and discrimination. And yes, I have had a “movie reel” in my head if what their lives might be like. We all have, whether you can admit it or not. The reality is looking much different. It’s ok for that to take time to adjust to. This is verified by people much more educated than dcum on the subject.

I’ve known about my son for a long time and am definitely getting more used to the idea. It is easier to picture him with a boyfriend than it was in the beginning.

I do worry that my daughter is being influenced by people at school and the bad luck she has had with guys. Her college town is very liberal and most people she knows are gay, bi, or pan. She has had some very intense crushes on guys. When she has been hurt by these guys, she really leans into being bi. If she is convincing herself she’s bi as a coping mechanism, I’m not sure that’s healthy.

Anyway, some if you really need to figure out how to be more helpful next time someone expresses their struggles. Jeez. Not at all helpful to kick someone when they already feel down. Some of you with LGBTQ kids who claim to have never given it a second thought are likely in denial of their own feelings. [/quote]

Worrying about safety isn’t homophobic. Saying you think she’s being influenced by friends or taking a really long time to come around to the idea of your child being gay probably are. Adjusting to your child not matching the photo in your mind is valid, but being sad for an extended period about it or feeling like you’re being injured by the changes probably are rooted in homophobia. You can experience common, surprising, and acceptable feelings while also having other thoughts and feelings that come from a really negative place. [/quote]

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