Reply to Rating yourself as a parent

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Rating yourself as a parent"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never ask my kids this question. WTH were you thinking? We have done our best. That is good enough for us. If it wasn’t enough, no apologies from us.[/quote]

I disagree. If there's something that need to be resolved, I'd like to know about it. Makes for a closer relationship. [/quote]

Some things can't be resolved. My parents hit me when I was a kid, and both had anger problems. My mom had untreated depression most of my childhood. Now I'm an adult, and I have to wear the scars from that. I could discuss it from them, but they would want forgiveness and then if/when they got it, they'd want to never talk about it again. Meanwhile, I will need to deal with the fallout from childhood trauma all my life. No amount of forgiving them or talking about it with them will change that I didn't have a safe or loving home as a child, which has impacted my psychology in ways that I have to work to address.

Only the parent who screwed up could believe that discussing it would lead to "resolution." If you had a screwed up childhood, there is no resolution, only acceptance and figuring out how to work with it. I will never fully resolve my childhood scars to the point where they have no impact at all on me.[/quote]

I would've loved to get an apology from my parents, who were, at times, abusive and neglectful. While I'm damaged from that abuse and I will bear the scars for the rest of my life, I believe I can resolve my scars, both through therapy and through being an excellent parent to my kids. It makes me sad sometimes when I realize how easy it is to NOT yell, hit or neglect a child. You simply don't do that. Only love and nurture with patience and kindness.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics