Reply to Do you think the mean kids get their comeuppance?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here--I don't want the bully to get hurt physically, that's not what I meant. But what if the bully is a girl who spreads rumors and lies about another girl (not my kids' situation), would at some point the bully's friends realize that this person could turn and do the same thing to them at any second, and choose to stop hanging out with her. Or, like a pp said, people confront her about it so she doesn't just get away Scot free. I don't want them to get bullied. I want them to have consequences for their bullying. I said it wrong in my original post. [/quote]

I am still not understanding why you would care though. And ultimately I’d just wish all kids well and hope they have a nice life.

bullies are insecure or threatened in some way and so it’s best to just remember that and let go.[/quote]

Op again. Has your kid been bullied? Not just some kid teasing them here and there, but actual bullying? I think then you would understand why it's harder to let go. But I will take your suggestion anyway and do my best to let go. But it is hard when someone is deliberately making your kid miserable :([/quote]

I'm with you OP.  NP here.

Now I've got to feel sorry for the bullies and wish them well.  Nope.  Sorry PP that some of us are just not big enough people to do that.  No, I don't wish a kid well who has made my child's life a living hell.  I'm not going to go out of my way to get revenge, but I also don't wish the kid well unless there was some kind of apology and accountability.  Yep, I'd enjoy hearing a kid like this saw some consequences in life.  And yes, I can also intellectually process that some of them grew up in poor circumstances.  But also lots of people grow up in those circumstances and don't behave that way. 
[/quote]

NP here.  I don’t expect you to feel sorry for the bully or empathize with them.  But the OP’s desire for consequences for the bully is not good for her and her kid even though completely understandable.  OP - make this about your kid.  Who knows what makes the other kid tick.  Work on the only thing you can control - yourself and helping your kid with their own reaction.  For my kid, it wasn’t really bullying but excluding behavior that was sort of mean girl but also very normal.  I did eventually start feeling a little bad for the bully.  Somehow that must have communicated itself to my daughter because all of a sudden she stopped caring.  I think in my mild case, my modeling a different behavior (however subconsciously) helped her too.  [/quote]

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