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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks for the thoughtful replies. I've been noticing a lot of the following dynamic in my text threads lately:

Me: Hey, I'd love to get a hang on the calendar! Dinner/drinks/walk sometime soon?
Friend: Yes, I would love that!
Me: My schedule is pretty open - what works for you?
Friend: ...

I'm genuinely having trouble parsing whether people are just busy and can't commit, or don't actually want to hang and are trying to be polite, or something else. Thoughts?
[/quote]

Op I totally hear you. I try to just embrace that I like to host and plan things and not think to much about whether folks are reciprocating but can understand how these text threads are leaving you wondering. Personally I have found much more luck in very specific, impromtu offers rather than things planned far in advance. It seems counterintuitive but planning in advance overwhelms some people and also so many things come up. Oh we planned that dinner but now Johnny is sick, or his soccer game was rained out and reschedule to this night. it's just so many things. But a very specific ask, with a short time frame, has been much more successful. Hey we're going to xx this afternoon, want to join? Or hey want to get wine this thursday after the kids go to bed (my kids are a little younger)? Want to come over for sushi tonight after the kids go to bed? I don't know, but it's somehow been working out better than all the back and forth of finding the perfect day just for it to be ruined by the stomach bug or a work deadline that popped up or whatever it is![/quote]

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