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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]No way sorry. Maybe in the early stages but not later on. My parent w dementia has at times: been really angry, aggressive and mean, saying awful things, throwing and breaking objects in the house, staying up til all hours of the night, stomping around and turning music up loud, left dish towels on top of a hot burner starting a small fire, locked herself into/out of rooms, ran water until it overflows, physically hurt others, hide things around the house constantly and no one can find them (this has happened multiple times w important items like keys and phones, medicine) etc etc. I don’t expect my young kids to understand that. It’s scary and upsetting even for adults and it’s not a safe environment. It could be very damaging to them not to mention how unfair it is to the person w Alzheimer’s who no doubt feels unsafe and confused living like that as well.[/quote]

This +100.  People who don't have direct experience with dementia/Alzheimer's don't understand. It's so much more than memory loss.  My grandfather became physically abusive to his wife in his later years with Alzheimers. My dad, diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, has started yelling and cursing at my mom -- completely out of character for him.  We are meeting as a family now to determine when to move him into a care facility before he physically hits her -- it's only a matter of time.  No way would I put my kids in this kind of harm's way.  But cases are unique and you may be able to swing caregiving at home -- just know your limits and have a backup plan.[/quote]

+1,000,000

I am in the throws of this and my parent does not live with me. No amount of therapy is going to make any of this OK for me as a grown adult with life experience. I have faced many adversities in life and certainly have not lived a charmed life, but this has really thrown me as an ADULT. It's easy to hear and read how people become, but when your own parent becomes highly verbally abusive toward you, even if those tendencies were there in milder form before, it is a complete mind F as you deplete all your energy trying to help. I am having trouble forgiving myself for what i allowed my own children to witness and the damage it did and the nightmare goes on and like I said, I don't live with her![/quote]

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