Reply to S/O How do you justify having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not excusing the act at all—though I think when resentment builds to a point of no return and the conversations have taken place like I need xyz and it falls on deaf ears I can see how one might feel trapped. If you’re in a dead marriage or have some sort of issue trying to escape or feel alive, desired could be appealing. I don’t think they really think about the fallout or justify the end game at all they are being selfish and just thinking about how can they feel better or get what they need even if it is somewhere else. Then you have people who are happy in their marriage and do it anyway for the thrill. [/quote]

NP here. I think it’s important for women especially to realize that when you get involved with a married man, chances are he’s only using you for marriage life support. He doesn’t want to divorce his wife (who won’t leave him, either). He just needs an outlet because she lost interest, gained weight, hen pecks too much… you, the AP, will provide the breath of fresh air he needs before going back under again. Especially if you’re younger. Just, don’t, do, it. He’s coming after you because he’s too much of a coward, and too poor, to get out if his situation.  Tell him to hire someone to get him through his rough patches. And wives, please stop attributing the bad behavior to previous trauma. He’s one letter off- he loves his life, not his wife. He doesn’t want to end up in a trailer. [/quote]

Agree.  I’ll add, most of the wives I know that through this were much more attractive and fit than the women the men cheated with.  It’s not about that.[/quote]

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