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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Same issue here OP. In my case, it’s very much just the culture of our friend group. We do a lot of potlucks, neighborhood bbq type things so when I host a party I need to explicitly say that I’ve put a lot of thought into the menu, please just bring yourself or a bottle of wine if you really must bring something. I have to be pretty explicit about it and tend to do so in a self deprecating way: “I’m going all Martha Stuart on this one and have the menu all planned out down to the last detail. Yes, I’m neurotic! Please don’t bring anything!”

With certain people though I’ve learned just to given in and let them because it means a lot to them to contribute and them feeling good is more important than my menu. It’s actually become a running joke between DH and I about my MIL. I mean, who doesn’t want an Asian peanut salad with your lamb stew? Or a Tupperware of pudding next to the elaborate Black Forest Cake you slaved all day to produce. It’s definitely annoying but at this point DH and I just quickly catch each others eye, inwardly chuckle, and move on with the good times.[/quote]

Me, lol. I dislike lamb and any kind of stew.  
Maybe MIL brings her own food because she just has different taste and does not like yours.  
Consider her a running joke, nice, and be flexible if you have it in you--some day YOU will be the MIL.   (I am not a MIL, but am kind to mine).[/quote]

NP. What does this "threat" even mean--"Someday YOU will be the MIL." First off, not necessarily--I'm not pushing my kids to get married unless they want to. Secondly, I am sure I will be annoying to people sometimes, whether it is family or friends or coworkers, what with I'm a human being and all. Thirdly, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be annoying to people  *in the same way* that my MIL or anyone else is annoying to me. Doesn't it stand to reason that all of us will be careful NOT to do the things that our parents/ILs do that are annoying to us? I've never understood this line of thinking. Like, no, you don't have to caution me not to bring multiple appetizers that require oven space or a cutting board or whatever to the home of someone who is hosting me for a meal. Because that's just objectively annoying. I'm sure I will do things that bother my adult kids or their potential spouses, but it stands to reason that I won't do the exact same things that my parents and ILs do that bother me. [/quote]

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